Editorial Staff

You Can Date A White Guy….Just Remember To Stroke The Collective Black Ego!

I apologize if this is laced with heavy sarcasm. It was written at that time of the evening when I am not conscious enough to be civil, but just awake enough to know that I am not having any of whatever it is that’s on my mind.

Or in this case, something I’ve seen way too much and I am so tired of it.


Look, just because a black woman likes to date interracially or is concerned with living better does not mean she has to earn a freaking merit badge in order to deserve it.


No, Slappy, I am not going to go into gang-ridden neighbors, reach out to drug dealers, ride-or-die chicks, and generally unapologetic and harmful persons because of some misguided opinion that doing so is the only way to “earn” the right to talk about how dysfunctional they are.


Dating Interracially Risks Your Black Card…

Really, anything that takes you away from pre-approved black think risks your “black card”, but one of the most ridiculous things I’ve seen is this attitude that black women who date interracially must only revere blackness, uplift it, and never ever talk about trifling and dangerous behaviors. Doing so brings a whole lot of hypocritical scrutiny.

Somehow there is a sense that you are trying to prove how much better you are than the filth you are talking about. For some, only black women trying to be “better than they are” in the eyes of non-black people would speak with such distaste about those “poor unfortunate souls” with no respect for authority, civility, or themselves.

And if this is you, I invite you to go to the nearest stadium and just proceed to have every seat in the building. If it’s the Superdome, be sure and bring a flashlight just in case!

Fact: Some of us aren’t paralyzed by white racist opinion…

Me, I am NOT a feral black woman.

This is obvious in my dress, speech, and the fact that I’m not picking fights with men in the streets during the day and cussing and hollering at all hours of the night.

Yes some backward black person will smugly tell themselves that my decorum means nothing to your average KKK member.


On what planet is a sensible black woman supposed to live her life according to what racist white people think? Am I supposed to have compassion for violent hoodrats and their ilk because somewhere some bigot can’t tell us apart?!

Empathy doesn’t mean silence.

I do feel compassion for other people. But I never understood the idea that compassion is best expressed by being silent in the face of problematic behaviors. Empathy doesn’t mean shutting up, although this is a handy derailment tactic.

Whatever compassion I may feel, I am not interested in putting my life on hold, my thoughts and opinions in a box, or dealing with some ridiculous notion that I have to choose between my happiness and free will and the ability to have honest, unapologetic dialogue about the underbelly of black existence.

The one EVERYONE knows about, but some black people delude themselves into thinking is some best-kept secret because they have their own heads in a hole in the ground some place.

The one these same negroes tell themselves one is only allowed to whisper about if they aren’t some white man-loving race traitor who is no longer black enough, real enough, down enough, whatever enough to have the right to say such things.


There is a segment of people who say to black women, “Date a white guy, marry a white guy…but remember your life, your womb, and everything that you are belongs to the black race and if you don’t put black people first (not yourself, not your kid, not your family, but “black people”), you are a failure, a liar, and there’s something wrong with you.”


Ladies, you can live your life, live it well, and not feel there’s anything wrong with it. You deserve happiness if you seek happiness. You don’t have to prove yourself worthy of happiness. You don’t have to earn a “black woman mammy merit badge” to be happy. You don’t have to justify a desire to be taken care of nor a disgust at disgusting behaviors – your own relationship happiness does not need to meet any trifling fool’s prerequisites.

Life is too short to break your back for the approval of a bunch of strangers who resent your happiness anyway.  Instead, dedicate yourself to the circle of love that surrounds you, those closest to you who have already proven through their words AND actions that they care for you. And yes, you can comment on the world burning from a safe distance.

Leave the firefighting to the firefighters.

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