So…how many girls up in here are getting their hair done today so they can look fly for that hot date tomorrow or Saturday night? Raise your hands!
Okay; now get out. This particular blog entry is for the ladies who have YET to get a date this weekend. Janice has recently hit pay dirt in her dating life, landing not one, not two but THREE dates with hotties of varied hues. So, she’s here so share some of her mojo in hopes it’s not too late for you to score this weekend. Now, we can’t guarantee that our advice could lead you to a weekend full of this, but hey! we’re pulling for you.
After months of not dating, I now have three pending dates with two ridiculously sexy Mexican men and a handsome vintage vanilla life guard (think James Brolin, less David Hasselhoff). Although Iâ€™m a firm believer that love (or in this case dates with men) come when you least expect it, Iâ€™m starting to think Christelyn has been working some of her swirl voodoo on me. (Damn that Barbie doll video.)
So what was I doing to warrant this attention? Honestly, it was nothing more than a smile and a sunny disposition â€“ and a little flirting doesnâ€™t hurt either. Admittedly, flirting is second nature to me. Iâ€™m a people person — one of those peppy A-Type personality Leos who enjoys the company of others and who makes others feel special in mine.
And Iâ€™ve been around that well-known block enough times to know women flirt differently than men. Or at least the goals are different. For women itâ€™s usually a way to get a little attention or even some harmless fun with no expected end game — unless sheâ€™s at a bar and wants a free drink.
For men, thereâ€™s always an end game — and itâ€™s always sex. (Fess up guys, you know it is!) As individuals, men flirt differently, but race and culture also play a part when a dude is steppinâ€™ to a sista.
Iâ€™ve found black men, in general, aggressive. I cannot begin to tell you how many times Iâ€™ve been accosted by a brotha who went all Morris Day on me — â€œBaby, whatâ€™s your phone number?â€ — before even asking my name, or telling me his. (And, no, calling a woman a â€œbitchâ€ after she turns you down is not endearing.)
â€œEgo and sense of entitlement,â€ have no place in flirting â€“ and too many black men have it bad â€“ notes Kimberley McCloud who gets into this more in her must-read article athttps://clutchmagonline.com/lifeculture/feature/catcalls-flattering-or-fatal/.
Striking up a conversation, as it happened with the three guys who asked me out this weekend, is more typical approach for white, Latino, Asian and Middle Eastern men — and, yes, some decent black men, too.
Ladies, you know what Iâ€™m taking about â€“ that man who says hello, followed by a firm handshake, a smile, a compliment and THEN he tells you his name before asking yours. From there, (okay, if he’s fine or remotely interesting) the chat leads to how often you frequent the place, why you enjoy said place and when youâ€™ll be back again. No exchanging of phone numbers necessary in that first encounter.
â€œIf I flirt with the girl for long enough, sheâ€™s more likely to have sex with me,â€ according to the unnamed columnist atjustaguything.com in his article, â€œThe Art of Flirting (And How To Do It).â€
And who knows how it might work out for the guys Iâ€™ll be going out with soon. (And, yes, I secretly have my own end game ideas for two of them.)
Fellas take heed from a dude who has the right take on the subject and see if changing your game doesnâ€™t get you more than hurt feelingsâ€¦