Friday Funny: A Guidepost for Rainbeaus Navigating Through Blackness

A guy in the BB&W crew inspired this post because he wrote this:

But maybe there’s an issue which could be spun off from this one: white men finding themselves, unwittingly, in the crossfire of black media culture by emulation – if at least by it’s edges. Do we, as white men, need a map to help us identify where some of the more obscure landmines are, especially if we are “going public” with our thoughts and feelings over black women?

…I’m a newborn, ladies, when it comes to writing my thoughts and feelings in social forums. I write for two audiences: my wife, first and foremost, and black women who are open to what I have to say to them…about them…and for them. Perhaps I’m at a somewhat disadvantage, in that most of my friends and all of my side of the family, I left behind in Texas when I moved to my wife’s home state of Virginia after grad school. Those that I am closest to are her family. Add black media to my mix (movies, music, etc.), and you can understand my embarrassment of referring to strangers (my black woman audience), as queens. See my dilemma? What I think as positive words can be fuel for debate, and the unknowing white boy turning off the very black women he’s trying to support, most especially those black women who want to be with us! I don’t use ebonics when I write, so I’m not trying to be someone that I’m not. I just write the words how I would say them…and how I feel them. Christelyn, I need you to issue me a pass as I walk the halls of Facebook’s IRR groups…..:) I don’t want to be called into your office…..:)

Okay dear reader, I’m going to help you out. In fact, we all are…aren’t we ladies? Here are the 10 RAINBEAU-MAN COMMANDMENTS FOR THOSE WHO WISH NOT TO BE E-DROP KICKED:

I. Thou shalt NOT ask a black woman if her hair is a weave.

II.Thou shalt NOT ask a black woman if you can touch her hair.

III. Forget it, and don’t even try. There is NEVER, EVER hope for you to use the word, “nigga” under ANY circumstances.

IV. When making love, THOU SHALT NOT pull, tug, or run your fingers through said black woman’s hair UNLESS she has given you prior, written permission.

V. If your date mentions a niece or nephew, DO NOT ask what her husband does for a living. There’s a 73% chance she doesn’t have one.

VI. Thou shalt not make any attempt WHATSOEVER to speak ebonics.

Okay, I lied. I could only come up with six commandments, but I have NO DOUBT the ladies here will have loads of fun completing this sacred list of must-follow rules.

Have at it, ladies!

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