Funny Friday: Commoditize Your Hotness.

When BlackQueenBee sent me an article about a new site,, founded by Singaporean-born, MIT-educated Brandon Wey, I immediately thought of The Borgias, because I’m a sucker for historical dramas. If you watch it, you probably saw that dirty pope brokering a sale/marriage of his daughter so he could fatten the coffers after funds ran low bribing folks to buy that pointy hat with the gold sequins.

Seeing as of late, we’ve been discussing how some Asian women seek husbands with money like ninjas, I guess I can’t be surprised that an Asian dude, who couldn’t even get a date with an white girl OR an Asian girl useless he bought one, is pioneering the way for rich, aesthetically-challenged men to broker dates with hot girls.

I mean, are we really surprised? Women have been commoditized since neanderthals roamed the earth. But I guess the difference is that we didn’t necessarily volunteer to be on the auction block. We were dragged there by our hair to marry old, smelly, toothless grandpas who could buy a 14-year-old to hump and dump out his babies.

But I hear Wey’s got plenty of women raising their hands to be bought and sold, along with some…subtle winky-wink.

But I wonder, how do these gals set their price? I mean, since they’re being so basely shallow, do they charge more if the guy has halitosis, or only showers on holidays? Is there a premium if the dude who wants you has ear hair so long you can braid it?

Me personally, I’d have a sliding scale. I’d offer deep, deep discounts for a guy who looked like this:

We could...uh...negotiate.


But I’d charge this guy the current U.S. national debt:




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