Black Women's Improvement Project (BWIP)

Impression Management of Facebook 101: Black Ladies, Be MORE than Your Body!

All of us know black women have an image problem. Just pick one: We’re too sassy. We’re too difficult. We’re sex-hungry Jezabels. We’re loud and all of us collectively strive to be video hoes.

It doesn’t help that many of our sisters on Facebook are living down to those stereotypes for short-term success. Yeah, boo–you get his attention, but he won’t ever take you home. THEN, the crying about no good men want you starts. And I’m like, “Are you serious? Look at your Facebook profile pic! You have CAFM written all over your…breasts!”

You know what’s sad, and what I realized from last week’s dung storm? Some black women interested in rainbeaus are taking the same faulty template that didn’t work with black men and then hoping for best with the non-black ones. Sorry chica. Men are visual creatures, and when they see this:

There was another woman's picture on here, but since she was recognized, despite me blurring out her face, I felt if right to take it down.

…at first blush, he’s already put you squarely in the category of do-not-marry-pump-and-dump-then-block-on-FB.

UPDATE: This girl was on my friends suggestion:

Pretty girl, but posing in a TEDDY??!!?

Now, most of the pictures I see aren’t so obviously CAFM-like. But I see plenty that give similar messages, and if you’re wondering what those might be, here’s a list.

–one more inch and I can see your nipples pics.

–you laying on a bed.

–you laying on the couch

–you in your underwear in the bathroom

–You in your underwear anywhere

–wearing a bikini anywhere except a beach, lake, pond, or puddle

–too many pics of your puckering your lips while wearing more makeup than a Ringling Bros Barnum and Balley circus act

–your nails have the Louis Vuitton logo painted on them

I know that these uninformed women think that’s what men like to see, and in a sense, they’re on the money. But when you look a certain way, it’s the eye of the penis that sees you first.

Now I’m not saying you have to look like the Church Lady. In fact, I’m squarely in opposition to that. You can look sexy and sensual…and you should…but do it in a subtle, lady-like way.

It’s quite clear that despite the resistance, more and more black women are dipping their toes into the possibilities of dating and mating interracially. However, certain mores that are more acceptable in the black community mostly won’t fly with men who live outside of it.

Ever hear the saying, “Clothes make the man?” Well, not wearing any won’t make you more of a woman.

Women of other races may be able to get away with this, but not ever, never, cold-day-in-Hell will it ever be us. We are viewed as a monolith–like it or not. For every 10 classy ladies it only takes one the reinforce the notion that black women are classless and sex hungry.

Here’s an action plan to help these wayward women who think their worth lies between their T & A: Tell them it doesn’t.

Take a look at how Facebook can ruin your relationship prospects.

(Thanks for bringing this to my attention, E!)

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