Jay From Philly’s Second Dr. Goddess Response: Time for Strong CoffeeTalk.

Jay emailed me his second response to Dr. Goddess, and at first, I thought “Hmmm…maybe I shouldn’t” but hell, I’m hard-headed and I take dares way too seriously. I’m posting the response here along with my opinion that unfortunately, Jay is mostly right about the situation within our community. If just prickles the hides of some folks because it’s a white dude who’s saying it. But NEWSFLASH! White people may not be saying it loud and proud like Jay, BUT THEY’RE THINKING IT, TRUST. ME. THEY. ARE. Often, the hardest thing for a person, community, state, or universe is to recognize it’s own defects. For too long, the only white people allowed to speak on black issues have largely be apologists who support and continue dysfunction. Anyone who does otherwise is swiftly labeled a racist.

By now, EVERYONE should know that I don’t care two rat’s gonads about getting folk’s approval. Truth is truth. Here’s a challenge. I want the naysayers to DISPROVE Jay’s assertions, point for point. I want HARD examples. Excuses and deflections will be deleted. If we’re going to have a conversation and find solutions, then dagnabbit, let’s roll up our sleeves as find one.

I repeat. I want no red herrings, deflections, justifications, shouts and accusations of racism, or dung-slinging of any kind. Don’t even bother, because they won’t see the ethereal light of the Comments section.

Jay, you have the floor. And because I’m giving it to you, you need to jump in and comment and provide clarity as needed.


Hi Christelyn,

I shouldn’t have, but I took the bait. Here’s my second response to Dr Goddess. Note that I don’t address Black women marrying non-Black men in this post, I realize she just believes it’s unacceptable and will tune out any mention of it.



The post here reminds me of someone I knew (middle class white female) who was one of those people who fall in with the SSI “mental disabilities” crowd. She knew all the right things to say to docs to get prescriptions for various pills, had an ACCESS card, and had a personal life filled with drama and misery even though she didn’t really do anything or go anywhere. She lived in her mother’s basement and would complain about how horrible her mother was to her, both in child- and adulthood. Suggestions of Well, why don’t you get a job and move out? were met with “I CAN’T. I JUST CAN’T DO THAT!” and “I can’t talk about this anymore, I can’t take the pressure.” What pressure? I never found out.

The main thrust of this post seems to be that No Wedding No Womb, that is Black woman waiting to bear children until after marriage, is racist because it fails to acknowledge white privilege, institutionalized racism, and the prison industrial complex that locks up young Black men for profit. All three are vague entities hard to pin down, but easy to use when someone brings up anyone taking responsibility for themselves. Yet no tough choices are ever proposed, just a continuation of the status quo. More gov’t money and more social programs, lowered standards, social promotion and no discipline in schools, use of cultural differences as an excuse for bad behavior, and the reelection of the same poverty pimp politicians year after year. The same solutions keep getting fronted again and again expecting different results. And don’t bring up segregation, anytime white people try to move in, rehab some houses, open a coffeshop or plant a community garden they are met with blatant hostility and sometimes violence for daring to move into the Community.

What too much of the Black community has become is an ethnically monochromatic incubator of crime, drugs, death, and hopelessness dependent entirely on taxpayer money. Yet with the nation’s debt crisis the well of taxpayer money is getting tapped out. White people have problems of their own and bigger fish to fry. Yet the ghetto continues on like nothing has changed. What happens when the ACCESS cards go insolvent, when the Section 8 funds dry up, when the schools will have to be comepletely dependent on local property taxes, when the WIC check no longer comes in the mail, and when the gov’t lays off disproportionately Black civil service workers due to budget cuts? Then what?
Dr. Goddess is in a great position to tell young Blacks buy a belt to keep your pants up, use a condom, stay in school, how to apply for a job (hint #1: Don’t go up to the booth at the Diversity Job Fair and say in a rough voice “WHATCHEW PAY?!”), that if you look like the stereotype expect to be treated like the stereotype, that you make your own way in life and that the big bad world doesn’t owe you a thing. That the Black community can become a viable self-sustaining subset of America that lives apart from the mainstream. The Chinese do it. The Amish do it. But no, it’s just more of sleeping in Mom’s basement and complaining about how horrible Mom is.

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