LaShuan Williams, blogger Politically Unapologetic
It appears we have entered the era of the open letter, so I suppose it my turn to address the nonsense that has come from the latest sensations to infiltrate the blogosphere. First and most annoyingly, the Open Letter to Black Men in Hopes of Reconciliation by Nojma Muhammad.
The instant I was introduced to this letter, I knew exactly what I was about to read. And, while hoping the writer would prove me wrong, she confirmed every assertion. The first paragraph does an excellent job summing up a mentality that continues to keep the like-minded emotionally and psychologically shackled:
I have become a woman that you no longer recognize. I have allowed our enemy to impregnate me with his ideas and thoughts. I have allowed an illusion of independence to keep us separated. I have fooled myself into believing that my degrees places me degrees above you.
Ladies, in this journey called life it is essential to remember that you are an individual who happened to be born blackâ€”not the other way around. Each and every one of us bleed the same red blood, breath the same air and, will one day leave this earth the same way.
Sure skin color affects everyday life experiences, but it does not define who you are nor should it determine code of conduct. There is no single way to be a black woman that is recognizable to black men. Claire Huxtable is not the ideal for every man.
Furthermore, it is not the illusion of independence that created the present-day rift. No, it is the absence of balance. In actuality, independence is an attractive trait. A woman who wears it correctly comes across both self-reliant and genteel. Just because youâ€™re equipped to be a superwoman doesnâ€™t mean you have to be all of the time. Real men arenâ€™t looking for you to be doormats, but they are seeking to be the protectors and providers your words beg of and overbearingness runs away.
The bottom line: Masculine men desire feminine women. Until you learn to play your role, you will be alone.
The â€œenemyâ€ has not filled your hearts with his thoughts and ideas nor have you been duped into thinking your academic and professional achievements represent something special in you, because they do. We, as individuals, are responsible for our own destinies. If you had the wherewithal to acquire one, two or three degrees, be proud. In dating and interaction, just keep in mind some of this countryâ€™s most successful entrepreneurs are college drop-outs. There is nothing wrong with desiring a mate on par with you professionally and intellectually. You just have to get over the fact that he may not be black, which shouldnâ€™t be an issue anyway. It is 2011 not 1946; white men arenâ€™t masters and youâ€™re not a slave.
You see, black men are and will continue to date interracially because they understand love comes in all ethnicities. Though for some â€œpreferencesâ€ may stem from self-hatred, many have simply taken an equal-opportunity approach to love. Apologizing for being human isnâ€™t going to change that. Begging for reconciliation isnâ€™t going to realize this grandiose belief in black love.
Love is not bound by color. The sooner you realize that you will be set free. You will then find peace.