Leona’s Love Quest Part XXV- My May-December Summer Romance


I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is (drumroll please) I finally got a full-time permanent job in my hometown of Philadelphia, the city of Brotherly Love! As soon as I accepted the offer I gave my two weeks’ notice to my job in St. Louis and then returned to Baltimore to pack up my things and relocate. Despite all the effort I put into finding a job in DC, I’m very excited about this new opportunity- but I have a lot to accomplish and just one week to get it all done.

The bad news is that my whirlwind romance with my younger beau has come to an end. What started off as an unlikely romp down lover’s lane turned into an emotional rollercoaster ride neither of us could seem to control. As much as he professed to like me, he simply could not foresee a scenario that fit me into his life’s plan.  I felt we could overcome the challenges that our age differences presented but there was no point in even trying if I wasn’t the woman that he really wanted. Even though the affair was doomed from the start, there was something between us we couldn’t let go. Whenever we began to share the kind of intimacy that might lead us into a deeper commitment, he’d suddenly become cold and withdrawn. Ironically, each discussion about how it would never work between us only seemed to bring us closer and we’d end up right back where we started in a couple of days. I can’t believe after all the books I’ve read on breaking my bad relationship habits I still was unable to stop myself from getting involved with yet another unattainable man. In my defense, nothing else I’ve tried has been working out for me either. All of the dates I’ve accepted so far have gone nowhere and I received very little interest from the dozens of theoretically compatible men that I tried contacting online. At least I’m putting myself out there. Is it really all my fault that the one guy I was finally able to make a connection with happened to be only twenty-four?

I hope my young man has better luck finding his soul mate than I have, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a few jaded years down the road might feel some pangs of regret for the love he left behind. According to “The Date Report” on there are some very good reasons why men should consider dating an older woman:

1.     She’s Got Her Own Life.  I liked spending time with my guy, but I could easily find ways to entertain myself when he wasn’t around. Remember I was already headed to the blues festival when I decided to invite him along.

2.     She Can Hold Her Own. I won’t follow you around like a lost puppy or embarrass you in front of your boss, friends or family if you invite me to one of your social functions.

3.     She Knows What She Wants and Doesn’t Want and Isn’t Afraid to Say it. I was truly content with living in the moment, but my guy knew the kind of relationship I really wanted. Plus, I can be pretty opinionated, if you hadn’t already noticed.

4.     She Doesn’t Move in a Herd. I’ve got girlfriends, but they don’t influence my decisions the way they did in my twenties. Sometimes I wish they did.

5.     She Had Sex Before She Had a FB Profile. I’m on Facebook, but I don’t change my relationship status every time I meet someone new.

6.     She Doesn’t Need You; She Wants You. What I wanted most was just to spend time together, especially since our opportunities were so brief.

7.     She Can Make You a Better Man. In a way, I wanted to be his mentor. If he paid attention, he might have learned a few things.

I don’t mean to insult my younger female followers who have been pretty on the ball with their commentary. Chronological age doesn’t necessarily determine your level of maturity.  And since BB&W is all about expanding our choices, in July The Date Report gave some good reasons why you might consider dating a younger man:

1.     He’s Bored with Girls His Own Age. My guy had a close relationship with his parents and he enjoyed many of the same things that they did. We surprisingly shared a lot in common.

2.     He’s Not Just Out to Hit it and Quit It.  My guy was so focused on his future he couldn’t even fully enjoy what we had in the now. Not all younger guys are only looking for sex and not all older men are looking for commitments.

3.     He Thinks You’re Hot. Once I asked him what it was about me that turned him on. He simply said, “I just think you’re really cute.” That was a good answer.

4.     He’s Not Hung Up on Age; You Are. In the long term, our age difference was a much bigger issue for him than it was for me, but it didn’t stop him from finding me attractive.

5.     He’s Got Energy and Optimism to Spare. My guy had more of an old soul. At times seemed highly doubtful about his own life, but he was always more encouraging and optimistic about my future than I was.

6.     What He Lacks in Money, He Makes Up for in Resourcefulness and Ambition. My guy worked long, hard hours as a scenic painter under conditions that would drive most people to quit. It made me really appreciated the times when he insisted on footing the bill.

7.      He’ll Make You Feel Like Your Old Self. I usually find it easy to relate to most twenty and thirty-somethings anyway. It’s not a lack of maturity as much as a matter of arrested development. When you’re a person struggling to make ends meet because you decided to start over at 40 and you still have no responsibility to anyone but yourself, it’s sometimes hard to feel like a grown-up. Being around my guy made me feel OK to still feel mentally stuck in my 30s.

Would you ever consider getting involved with someone much older or younger than yourself? Are there any other reasons you think should be added to these lists?

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