Time for a public service announcement from the good people that occupy the head space of Tracy Renee Jones. Read for clarity and content if you never have before.
There comes a time in a girl’s life when she has to set things straight. I’m not one for confusion. Anyone who knows me also knows that if you want an answer, or a solution, I got you. If you want a response, and a suggestion then you need to look further.
What’s the difference between the two?
I tell it like it is.
I know what I’m talking about and last, but not least, I don’t need to be qualified by nary’ a soul walking the Earth. When I take the time out of my precious existence to participate in life I do so with the intention of assisting others in their endeavors to be better people.
You can take or leave me.
In real life. I am comfortable in my skin. I like me and what I say. I like what I do and the people I do it with. Whomever is free to accept me or leave me where I stand, and I am free to do the same. Those who don’t agree with me or my lifestyle, or decisions can’t do anything about it beyond being mad about it.
Not being at the whim of others means that I get to determine who and what I am. I present to you the most authentic version of myself up to date. Not concerning myself with whether or not I am accepted is the most freeing thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.
I do what please me, up to and including things other may look down upon. What works for me, works for me, and I advise you to do what is within your power for your own good, because I sure will.
When you read my writing and don’t like what I’ve said, don’t try to change me, instead, go say your own shit and promote your own cause. Focusing on you and your specific groove is way more productive than trying to police my grown woman magic.
Think I’m concerned with being liked and accepted by individuals or nations? I mean, it’s nice to receive positive reinforcement, but my value is based on how I feel about me and mines, first and foremost. I won’t die from dislike. I’m not going to suffer a terminal illness due to shade-ism. I won’t shake in my boots behind angry Tweets and keyboard thugs.
I give no fucks.
And I use the appropriate words to express such.
I’m not here to please word police. I use all words especially since people fear words more than they do the concept behind their meaning.
I’m not here to adhere to false and sexist rules of appropriate gender behavior. You may think it crass and forward to approach a man, I have more men than I know what to do with based on what works for me, including flirting and approaching men I find interesting.
I’m not here to attend your pity party. I am an empathetic ear, I am understanding, but I am not interested in spending too much time while a person spins their ‘whoa is me’ wheels.
I’m not here to coddle the needy. I can’t become your reason for living or the human representation of hopefulness. I won’t allow you to put that on me.
I’m not here to please men, or women, unless it contributes to me pleasing myself.
I’m not here to be politically correct. Change requires activities that shake up the typical, not ones that uphold and perpetuates it.
I’m not here to do what you want me to do. YOU don’t matter. Harsh but true.
I’m not here to adapt to behaviors that aren’t serving the desired goal. Keep your advice about how to do things when you’ve never been me, or like me, or subject to anything I’m trying to accomplish. Have you dated men? Are you a gay male or a female who has successfully dated? No, then why are you talking?
I’m not here to play-nice or cheer lead. I think you are great, I hope you do too but I’m not going to convince you of the fact if you disagree, maybe you are hopeless.
I’m not here to do anything beyond those things that are true to me and what serves my goals.
Selfish and self centered?!
But if I don’t focus on the center of myself, then who shall?
In the end, if you want to have a little piece of mind then I suggest you learn to waltz to your own disco music.
Learn to paint your own photograph and do these things in the clear understanding that someone, somewhere, will disagree or dislike you and there’s nothing you can do to change that.
Sometimes, people just dislike you because you have the courage to be you. People may hate you for simply breathing because they don’t think you deserve air. There are folks out in the world that will come to you with their shit and expect you to care about their shit more than you care about your own.
Jump through hoops if you choose.
Bend over backwards and wait on the reward if you dare.
Listen to everyone’s needs but your own and I can almost guarantee that you’ll lose yourself in the midst of it all and for what? Only to find out that their version of you isn’t your version of you?
To them, I say, I ain’t here for all that!
You will lose some friends when you become more self determined. You will gain self respect and the satisfaction of showing others that you accept yourself first.
Don’t be scared to be a one woman show.
Having the power to turn the interest of others off is an amazing thing.
You should try it sometimes.