A Letter from a Black Man: “You are NOT obligated to stay away from swirling”

Sometimes I get notes that are just so profound and timely that I just have to share. With all the railing against the segment of hateful black men who use social media to kill our souls, there are a few, small voices who deserve some airtime. This is such a person.

All I can do is applaud and feel for you, Christelyn. I’ve been subscribed to you for quite some time (As in I wanna say… At least two yrs), and love listening to your perspective about interracial love, dating, & relationships. You are definitely among the realest of YouTubers I’ve come across on this entire website.

It is undoubtfully, sickeningly foul the constant misogynoir not only I, but countless others witness on a day-to-day basis. The worst part is too much of it comes from US: Black cishet men. Yes, we are oppressed being black, but it is because of that, we should KNOW better. Being oppressed should never allow one to oppress another. It pains me more than ever to see the shit black women have to go through not only via social media, but in life period. The same white supremacist patriarchal society we hate so much, too many of us mimic against anyone who isn’t straight, cisgendered, or a man. Unfortunately, a lot of black men, especially these Tariq Nasheeds, Dr. Umar Johnsons, and so on, do not want liberation. We don’t want equality or equity. We want privilege; favor, and to so many of us, the ends justify the means. We damage the very same women we claim to love and consider “queens”, almost seemingly as a requirement in order to consider ourselves “men”. We allow these same white men we claim to hate to do the same, and laugh and clap with them in comradery. We even throw non-black women in black women’s faces on some divisive, objectifying, degrading bullshit, praising (or maybe even fetishizing) those women for the same shit we kick black women down for (Trick Daddy was guilty of this not too long ago). Us, as black men, we need to be held accountable, and not by other ppl, but most importantly by OURSELVES and to each other. Sadly, between brothas, there’s not enough of that genuinely.

In a heartbeat, I have and will tell any black woman… Do not wait on us niggas to get our shit right. Do not overwork or burn yourself out trying to “build” us. Not when we are as misogynistic, deep into our fucked up, fragile masculinity, and unwilling to understand as the very white men we despise for being racists. Go out there and get with someone who’ll love you right, hug you right, understand, and fuck you right, regardless of their color. You are NOT obligated to stay away from swirling to “hold niggas down”.

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