Remember LaShaun Williams? She wrote the Madame Noire article folks went ape crazy on Twitter, Facebook, and radio stations across the country–“8 Reasons to Date a White Man“
While I’m a firm believer that you should leave your options a wide as a rain-beau, I admire LaShaun’s guts. She tells it how it T-I-IS, as she sees it. I also want to give her new blog some shine: politicallyunapologetic.com, where she freely writes “un-PC”–unapologetically. In this, we are kindred spirits of sorts–I also could care less about if peeps get mad when I say “the sky is blue” AND THEN want to fight to the death to shush and muzzle me.
But I’ve got to say this post gave me pause, because I can relate to it: What’s it like to date interracially if you have a child from an intra-racial relationship that comes as part of the package? I’ll tell you later on how it was for me and Kayla.
But with no further ado, LaShaun, take it away!!
Interracial Dating with Un-Mixed Kids by: LaShaun Williams
Interracial, or rain-beau as it is affectionately called on this site, dating can be a complicated feat in its ownâ€”culture clashes, stranger staring, familial disapproval, the list goes on. So, what happens when there are children involved? No, not rain-beau children. Iâ€™m talking about one-of-a-kind kids from previous intra-racial relationships.
In all except the Black community, multiracial and/or multi-ethnic backgrounds tend to be frowned upon. The Asian community doesnâ€™t deify bi-racial offspring. Neither do Whites, Hispanics, Latinos, Jews, etc. Contrarily, Black Americans typically admire those with a visibly mixed heritageâ€”praising lighter skin tones, â€œgoodâ€ hair and more acute features. Much of the division within the community is a result of the complexion and hair hierarchy, especially when it comes to Black women and beauty. The dark- skinned, nappy-headed womanâ€™s experience is very different from that of her Shirley-curlied, fair- skinned counterparts. Being the buckshot bandit of the neighborhood or family takes a toll on self- esteem and confidence, leading me to wonder what happens when one parent marries interracially and has other half-Black children. Is there animosity? Is there heightened competition? Is the Black child subconsciously jealous?
Hopeful hearts and defense mechanisms would say no but I dare to say, on most occasions, yes. This world is still very black and white. In our community itâ€™s just a matter of being the â€œbetterâ€ type. Society and media help cultivate distorted notions of superiority in Black culture. If this has caused a rift in the overall community, what do you suppose it does in a family? Children from the same parents bicker. So, happens when they are half-siblings of different racial backgrounds? Regardless of what parents impart, environmental observations and out-of-the-home experiences play a large part in shaping our thoughts.
They have yet to conduct a study that explores the intricacies of interracial blended families. The world is still adapting to the amount of intra-racial blended families. Through personal experience, I could not even begin to explain its complexity. While I do not believe this should keep parents from swirling, it is something to be considered. Interracial relationships affect adults and children. Children who may or may not be prepared for the emotional roller coaster that comes with it.