I had an interesting weekend on my You Tube channel. You Tube is often rife with drama, and clans enjoy instigating online beefs, to which I generally like to stay way clear of. In fact, I’ve seen enough of these to know I will never willingly go into the fray with rabid fans of personalities that attract a mentally unstable and vengeful following. I’ll speak in general terms like I’m doing now.
As a high profile person in the BW/IR space, I realize I’m often the target for people to throw stones, and for the most part I’m used to it. But there’s recently been a NEW lie that has started to disseminate in the He-Man-Black-Woman-Haters Crew to discredit me. The narrative is that prior to finding my husband, who is obviously white, I only dating black thugs, and had a baby with a thug. This lie can easily be disproven, as I always been very open about my relationship with my oldest daughter’s father, who is about as far away from the traditional definition of a thug and can be. He has an architecture degree from Howard University, never been to jail, Maxi is his only child, goes to church and reads the Bible like it’s a novel, and wears his jeans over his actual butt, and not halfway or all the way off of it. I’ve written about him dozens of times, and it’s also in my book, Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed.
There’s also a narrative suggesting that I haven’t “owned up” to my “mistake” of allowing a man to go into me “raw” and that I’m playing the victim, and it’s all my fault that I got knocked up. However, people who make such assertions should really do their research. I’m the founder of No Wedding No Womb, which took the internet by storm in 2010, so that digital footprint is bigger than a yeti. I’ve always owned my part in that, and it’s been my life’s mission to educate and caution black girls and women to not follow the path I took.
I recently did a video to reiterate this position, because in the past, I have let a lie go that was told over and over and over by an internet shock jock that I’m still fighting, six years after he started it. I won’t make that mistake again. If a high profile hater tells an outright lie, I WILL defend myself and prove the lie is false, and if anyone continues to believe it will be proved a moron.
It didn’t take long for the trolls to emerge, and despite evidence I presented, were doggedly committed to labeling Maxi’s father as a thug.
The level of commitment to a delusion is strong with these folks. I had a discussion with my girl Bleu, and she came up with this. It’s a must listen.
And here’s my follow up…
The things that stuck out for me that Bleu said was that this segment of hateful black men really just want black women to suffer, and want so badly to continue to sully our image to to outsiders to present us as so disgusting and undesirable so that no one will want us. The “black women only want thugs and get white guys after they’ve messed up their lives” has been taking a foothold in online male communities that these black men populate.
However, the narrative that any black man who gets a black woman pregnant out of wedlock is a player and a thug and if black women need to “choose better” and stay away from thugs, they’ve just about eliminated 70%-90% of black men as viable partners. Black people have a 73% out of wedlock rate. And according to the new definition of a thug being ANY black man who has a baby out of wedlock with a black woman, despite income and educational status, lack of criminal record, not having a string of other babies, etc is a THUG, this that’s pretty much the MAJORITY of black men, and I guess we should all just stay away from all of them, you know, just to be on the safe side.