Marriage Isn’t for Black Women…REALLY?!

A few days ago I had the misfortune of running across a woe-is-me article called Marriage Isn’t for Black Women, published in Marie Claire of all places.  In summary, this young black woman bears her soul to privileged, feminist white women and lends comfort to them that we are, indeed, the bottom of the barrel and even our own men don’t want us. And for that message, Marie Claire granted Tiffanie Drayton a byline.
Tiffanie told us that she read Ralph Richard Bank’s book Is Marriage for White People, and learned a bunch of negative statistics that black women face. Really, sis? Because completely NEGLECT the FACT that the entire cornerstone of his book was to encourage black women to OPEN THEIR OPTIONS A DATE INTERRACIALLY, which you make absoultely NO MENTION of. And then you go on to lament that aaaallll your black girlfriends can’t find black men to date in college, and how one friend of yours was crushed…CRUSHED! to find out that she wasn’t going to be the only baby mama of a black man who also got a white woman pregnant and told her to her face that “mixed babies are cuter.”
How is it 2018 and all your friends are still so delusional?
The author then goes on to say she defied the odds and found a good black man to have a baby by but not marry, even though he kinda, sorta, asked her in passing but not really about marriage. She goes on to mention eleventy reasons why it’s just BETTER for black women to be single mothers because….white supremacy.
I absolutely had to dispute this, and did so in this video, point for point.
 One commenter said this and it was so good I had to share it.

The article that you read at was very enlightening. Even though I have heard that kind of talk for years I never thought much of it. It was like white noise in the back of my mind that I think may have influenced my lack of confidence when it came to men. Whether she knows it or not that writer has contributed to what she is complaining about. That kind of thinking is so destructive to not only her and the other black women who believe the same nonsense but also to the next generation of women being raised by them. Yes, white supremacy and systemic racism and all of that stuff does exist but it is not the beginning and end of everything, and it definitely should not ever effect your personal relationships. That writer misinterpreted the book she quoted but still somehow got her unicorn and instead of being happy she examined his horn, looked him in the mouth and decided that his dental plan was way too good so she need to create a loosing situation for herself. The point of this post is to say thank you. Until now I hadn’t realized what a difference listening to you and Kendall St. Charles had made in my way of thinking. Before I would never have realized the insanity in that self-defeating way of looking at the world.
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