Book Writing Adventures

Question of the Week: I Want What She’s Having. Where Can I Order One?!

Eh. That picture hasn’t much to do with the Question of the Week, but that couple gets my pressure up.

HEY! Stop day-dreaming before I wash your brain out with soap, you hear me?

I suppose we COULD draw a loose connection to the QOW to this couple, if we draw attention to the concern of some BB&W folks who want to BE this chick but can’t, for the life of them, short of purchasing a stripper pole, heels so high they resemble the Leaning Tower of Pizza, jumping on one leg wearing a sandwich sign that says, “Walk-Ins Welcome,” can’t seem to get the attention of ANY man, be he purple, blue, red, yellow, orange or clear.

This puzzles me. Mostly because I’m a bit skeptical. Billions of people in the world and NO rainbow man will give you the time of day? Do hamsters live in your mouth? Do birds scope out your head for their starter home? Whaaaat is it???

Unqualified source as I am, but also the MAGNIFICENT FACILITATOR OF INFORMATION OF ALL THINGS RAINBOW, of Mo-Fat-r, for short, I brought in dating expert, tabernacle pundit, romance columnist and downright sardonic, Deborrah In-yo-face Cooper to make you cry–eruhrm–I mean, tell it to you like it T-I-IS. Soooooo…you can’t get mad at ME, I’m just a Mofo. I mean, Mo-fat. Whatever!

Deborrah, do your voo-doo magic.

— Christelyn



Sometimes we focus on giving the opposite sex what we THINK they want instead of what they actually need. Maintaining a proper height to wieght ratio, being well groomed and participating in online dating sites are good, but if a woman is not having success she needs to change her approach. Usually that means look not at what you are doing and wearing, but at what you are inside.

I would suggest that women take a hard look at their personality and way of being with men. This is especially difficult for Black women that have been raised by single Moms and observed a woman being strong and doing it all because she HAD to. I’ve met many Black women that have trouble getting things off the ground with men due to their competitive nature.

A man is not trying to compete with you over who has the biggest paycheck, the highest GPA or the biggest corner office. None of those things make you a great sexy girlfriend or wife! A man is looking for a woman that will complement his life and sustain him emotionally. So when a guy asks you to tell him about yourself, what he means is what kind of woman are you – what makes you happy, what moves you, what do you like about men, and especially what do you like about me?

Many women are boring. They go to work, come home, go to church, watch television, shop, and read a book occasionally. When they meet a man they have nothing to really talk about. He learns all there is to learn about them in a few hours and moves on to interact with a woman that is more stimulating.

Ask yourself: What goals do you have for yourself that a man could participate in? Would you like to learn how to fish or play tennis or lift weights for example? Is that something you can do with him that he can teach you and share of his life? Perhaps you’ve wanted to learn how to cook chinese cuisine or learn to bake pastries… suggest that he serve as your guinea pig!

Revamp your personals ads to reflect your new interests and curiousities about life. Be positive and encouraging when you meet new men. Smile and be friendly, and let him know that you appreciate and admire things about him. Every man wants to feel special and important to his woman, no matter what race he is.

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