Today’s blog post was inspired by my pastor, Ron Armstrong. After this, I know what you’re thinking. But… I go to churches where everyone’s baggage runs pretty light. I like this guy because he gives sermons that can be applied to everyday life.
Not to diminish Bible scriptures, but the endless dissection of every verse instantly puts me into a coma. Then there’s the other end of the spectrum, where you can barely understand the message–what with the howls, amens, Holy Ghost dancing and people fainting to the floor.
When it comes to church, I’m definitively a middle-of-the-road kinda gal.
Ron started talking about how people can be cursed by their own low expectations, and about five minutes in, hubby and I looked at each other and whispered, “BLOG POST!” That happens a lot with us…it’s weird.
I’m applying this template to black women who talk themselves out of exploring the possibility of engaging in an interracial relationship. Perhaps they’ve heard one too many times that [insert race OTHER than black man here] do not want us. We’re too fat. Too loud and aggressive. Too independent. Won’t do fellatio. (And I gotta say in my case, that LAST ONE is definitely NOT TRUE.)
So Pastor Ron got on the subject of how low expectations help you avoid disappointment. In this case, a woman who expects a rainbow man not to want her will not bother to take the steps to put herself out there, thus, there’s no risk of rejection and she avoids disappointment. Like Ron said, “You are failing, but you feel okay about it.”
As long as you expect to lose, you will. But realizing you can do better and stop convincing yourself and others that you can’t is risky. It takes cojones, so you better grow some. I of course mean this figuratively–I like you best as a woman.
Here is my adapted version of Pastor Ron’s “Five Steps to Really Doing Your Best.”
And in case any of you just didn’t get enough church yesterday, you can view the full sermon here.
So here’s the question for discussion: are you stumbling over that big old block you’ve put in front of yourself? Can anyone relate?