The internet is buzzing about the latest oral slip up coming from Public Enemy Number #1 also known as Chris Brown. Now I’m so sure this isn’t a friendly space for a man such as he, considering his past, his prior inability to man up and take responsibility for his actions, and his enormous mouth in foot moments but his latest interview was a gold mine of introspection.
The 24 year old pop superstar recently conducted an interview with the Guardian where he revealed details about his childhood that were both shocking, and unfortunately, all too common among Black and Latino males.
His mother worked in a daycare facility, his father as a corrections officer in a local prison, and they had one other child, his older sister.
When Brown was two, he began copying Michael Jackson’s dance moves, and was soon singing in his church choir and competing in local talent shows.
His parents divorced when he was seven, and before long he and his sister and mother were living with her new husband in a trailer park, where in the past he has described lying in bed listening to his stepfather beat his mother.
And almost as if he’s any other young Black male that I’ve asked this question of, he further goes on to disclose even more insight into who he would grow to become.
He lost his virginity when he was eight years old, to a local girl who was 14 or 15. Seriously? “Yeah, really. Uh-huh.” He grins and chuckles. “It’s different in the country.” Brown grew up with a great gang of boy cousins, and they watched so much porn that he was raring to go.
“By that point, we were already kind of like hot to trot, you know what I’m saying? Like, girls, we weren’t afraid to talk to them; I wasn’t afraid. So, at eight, being able to do it, it kind of preps you for the long run, so you can be a beast at it. You can be the best at it.”
When asked if he could do it all again, and live his life as a regular teenager and young adult, he responds:
“Honestly, where I’m from, probably not. I think me being able to travel from the small town I was from, me already having a good IQ, and you know being intelligent, and regular stuff, I just had to learn more and more of the street life, you know, how to manoeuvre around a room full of wolves.”
He is finally able to discuss his prior legal matters including his anger management training:
“I think the actual class I went to was a little bit sexist.” What does he mean? “It was beneficial because it made me cater more to a woman’s thoughts and a woman’s needs, and how to handle situations. But the class itself, no disrespect to the class, but the class itself only tells you you’re wrong, you’re wrong, you’re wrong.”
These few excerpts are merely a sample of what many young males have to endure. The ways in which they are sexual exploitation and exposed to violence differ from the ways females become indoctrinated into intimacy abuse.
You can’t begin to find a solution to the problems that plagues women regarding sexual assault and abuse until we take a good hard look at the sexual abuse of their abusers, namly, the males.
I was not surprised to see that his father is a correctional office, law enforcement employees are notorious for being abusive and dysfunctional, though I won’t accuse his natural father of being violent, I will say the behavior of those that work with society’s cast offs are damaged by association. I’ve yet to see a soft spoken, polite and behaviorally healthy officer of the law. This isn’t up for debate from the police apologists.
The sexual abuse and exploitation of CHILDREN is an everyday occurrence though we spend much more time focusing on systematic instances of child sex abuse rather than those that occur right under our nose.
Rihanna might want to know who raped Chris Brown, because the 14 or 15 year old girl that tampered with this boys understanding of his selfhood contributed to the demon that would eat up the young man that he was to become.
Chris’ step father, Danielle Hawkins, denies that any physical abuse ever took place, however, he is also blind due to a self inflicted gun shot wound that happened during an altercation with CB’s mother. You can stand and deny truth to the beating allegations until the sun rises, at some point, you have to just call BS and go with the evidence. I’m wondering how a non-violent man, or an emotionally/mentally sound man ends up with a gun drawn to his own skull during an argument with his spouse.
Meanwhile, as we deny the problems at hand, someone might wanna call 911…because a child was raped.
I don’t care who thinks it’s an appropriate induction for males, I don’t care how many damaged males he had supporting his demise, I just don’t care.
This story is similar to dozens of other stories told by me by young black men who were forced into sexual play with an adult under the forceful eyes of a DBR male relative.
This is the same story as those males who are shown porn and who must listen to the DBR male’s objective and damaging dialogue regarding black women, and women in general. They are quick to have audio and video supporting their aghast at women; they codify and make abuse a right of passage for other males.
This is the same story as those males who told me of how they were instigated, touched, forced and bullied into sexual situations by other males that they did not want to be a part of.
This is the same story as those males who told me of inappropriate rough house play that occurred at the hands of generous family members, clergy members, coaches and neighbors. They told me of the strange conflict in knowing they are male, dominant and suddenly made aware of their weakness that follows the theft of one’s innocence.
What I care about is the person who abused the teen girl so that she would go on to become a child sex abuser. I care about the environment in which young black kids must grow up in and nonsense like this isn’t acceptable. Even if the family is married and comes included with a white picket fence.
I care about sounding off and calling this disgusting display of lack of morals, empathy and uncivilized behavior what it is. Our children are abused. We, the parents, create the situations that allow our children to be abused. We, the family’s of these children, turn our head, accept the treatment and continue to insist that they will go on to be ‘okay’ when it’s apparent that abuse is the gift that keeps on giving.
If I was Rihanna….. I would be looking for that 14 year old girl. I would want to know ‘who did it’ to find out who stripped her of her person hood and did she take C Breezy’s innocence hoping to replace her own?
When I hear stories like these, I call a spade a spade. A boy child was raped, and he grew up into a confused, aggressive and angry young man.
Is he without blame? Of course not!
But we can’t feed the dog raw meat and beat him and then act surprised when he attacks. His phrase about anger management being sexist is slightly true, we raise our males in a slim corridor of emotional existence, they can only be sexually aggressive or violent or both. No where is there room for males to be seen as whole humans who can experience abuse and who deserve protection and nurturing.
Where does it end….?
Where does it begin…?
Victims become victimizers. That’s a fact.
These questions need answers.
Will we continue to be silent….
My name is Tracy Renee Jones….and sexual assault knows no gender.