Ratchet Roundup: News We Didn’t Cover this Week and Are Darned Proud of It!

1399990250_jay-z-beyonce-solange-knowles-467 So…yes I saw the unfortunate video clip of Solange Knowles taking out 400 years of slavery on Jay Z’s already unfortunate-looking face. Beyonce said a prayer to twitter and now they’re all friends again. Ummmkay. Me thinks Beyonce should put little sister on body guard duty. We still don’t know what the fight was about, but seeing Hov get attacked like a cat, terrified for a bath, attaches itself to your face and scratched with blind fury is worth 2, maybe 3 pops of popcorn on the drama-meter. Screen Shot 2014-05-15 at 11.28.48 PM 1400089369_lil-kim-article-1- Lil Kim wants you to buy her a baby stroller for $7500.00. In return for such kindness, she’s willing to send you the first diaper full of baby poop, which in her mind makes you even-steven since her baby is sure to emit gaseous puffs of rose farts and will will be the first hip hop baby to shit gold bricks. Ain’t nobody got time for that though, because most of the stuff on her registry have gone unfulfilled. This two a measly one on the popcorn drama-meter.     images   Rihanna thinks it’s funny to be a mean girl on Instagram. While she rightfully identifies a teenager’s rendition of a bat-wing prom outfit inspired by something she saw Rhianna wear, it’s still not nice to put a sad face when you post this on your twitter. And incite the legions of your moronic fans to ruin the tender psyche of a 16-year-old girl. rihanna-mocks-fan-cruel-instagram-diss-lead For the unwise action of humiliating an impressionable girl who only wanted to worship you, you get four kernels on the popcorn drama meter.Screen Shot 2014-05-15 at 11.45.56 PM

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