Gems from the Comments

Reader Letter: Black Woman Married to a Black Man Sees the Site for What It Is

I love it when people finally “get” it. The letter…

I pop in on your site from time to time and my feelings about what you are trying to do have run the gamut. But your recent posts have made it clear to me that I misjudged your intent, and I wanted to say keep up the good work. Some background:


I am a black woman married to an absolutely stellar black man. We have 6 children. We both hail from working class black backgrounds but his intelligence, resourcefulness and hard work has translated into an upper middle class lifestyle for us, enabling me to be at home tending the needs of our home and our children.


One of the things he was adamant about was NOT raising our children in or around dysfunctional ghetto culture in any way shape or form. With that choice it has become clear to us that one if not all of our daughters are going to end up marrying outside the color box, which we are fine with.


But when I first encountered you it seemed as if you and your writers were hell bent on denigrating black men, and I got a little pissed. I agreed with black women being willing to date and marry outside the color box (and still do) but couldn’t understand why advocating that needed to include bashing my husband.


Yes, I know how silly it sounds to accuse you and your staff of bashing my husband but whenever I read a post about how bad black men are, that was how I took it. Broad brushes and all that.


However, after seeing your video response to Sue, and reading your impassioned reaction to the death of the married father of 6 in New York, I have a better understanding of what you’re attempting to do. It is important that black women (and men for that matter) who want to live quality lives to be willing to disengage from the dysfunction and open themselves up to all that life has to offer rather than feeling obligated to be bound to a culture and community that cares nothing for them and to which they cannot truly relate.


All that to say, I’ll keep reading but with a much more open mind.

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