Book Writing Adventures

The Black Women’s ‘Blacklash’: Why SO MANY hating on my marriage?

It’s startling really.

Since starting the No Wedding No Womb campaign and the mission site,, I have received more tacky, tasteless, vulgar, crude, obnoxious, godawful excreta from black women about my interracial relationship than ANYONE. And when I say, ANYONE, I mean, EVERYONE. Black men don’t really seem too concerned. White men are…intrigued. White women have stayed mum. But black women want to clown the hell out of me.

Some white man saved Christelyn and her black baby so now she’s doing NWNW

This woman appeared on a shared “friend’s” Facebook page after he wrote this article. The called me an “interracial elitist:

By ‘interracial elitist’ I mean that black people often make concessions for a white mate, in that they move further and further away from ‘black causes’ to appear more racially well rounded and accepting. A white mate often compels this so he/she can feel more apart of a black mate’s life and not feel left out from the concern and care a black mate may still have for his/her own people. But you can’t straddle two sides of a pole… and try to appear all-accepting and ever-loving of (often racially clueless) white people then act like you still care about black folks… you will indeed be elevating one over the other and to the ‘subordinate other’ you will come off as condescending and contrary.

From a black female blogger and critic of NWNW:

Learning the truth about slavery left me psychologically scarred and in homage to my ancestral mothers, wives and sisters, I made a personal vow to never be intimate with a white man.

And another black blogger, who happens to have a PhD:

“No Wedding, No Womb” is a race game, a shame game and a publicity stunt that should be understood within its proper context.

Many other bloggers on the site make perfect sense, are clear, direct and substantive. But they did not come up with the campaign so it’s the equivalent of serving a gourmet dish on a garbage can.

And finally, before I got banned from the Long Hair Care Forum a SECOND time, on girl essentially said that NWNW would be doomed because “you think the white man is the savior.”

All these comments were from black women. Black men have been EXTREMELY quiet (with this exception of one very obnoxious guy whose name will not be mentioned).

Now, I mention these not because I’m being a boo-hoo crybaby. I honestly don’t give a crap what they think. But it just strikes me as curious that it’s the BLACK WOMAN BLACKLASH I’m experiencing more than anything.

I think it’s not as simple as them just being “haters” or jealous. I think it goes deeper than that.

Then I stumbled over this tid bit of information from Discover Magazine:

Women care about the race of their partners far more than men, all things equal (in fact, much of the literature suggests men are not concerned about race very much when you control for other background variables).

So let me get this straight. As long as the girl is pretty, men don’t much care about race. Figures. Men are visual. And according to the article, white (most) women won’t date a black man unless his income surpasses the average white guy. But…that’s not even a variable we can connect with black women at all.

So what’s the deal?

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