Written by Penelope Farthing
Prince Harry made the news this week because he and his wife Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, are suing the UK press for their continued publishing of “false and deliberately derogatory stories” about them. Unfortunately, the hate and the naysayers are part and parcel of being literal royalty and living in the public eye, but the amount of abuse Meghan has endured since joining the Royal Family has reached such a level that legal action was needed.
Many people don’t like/care about Meghan, Harry or the Royal Family in general, and I respect that. As Americans I think most of us only have a passing interest when there is a wedding, birth, death, or major scandal. But if you take Harry and Meghan out of it, and substitute them as Generic Husband and Generic Wife, this latest story shows what a husband protecting, producing, problem-solving and providing for a wife looks like. Now, most of us will not have need to sue news publications after they’ve published private matters publicly, or sold tabloids with scathing headlines that have a tenuous relationship with the truth. But as women, we should seek partners who will do the four Ps, at a scale in line with our own personal lives.
Harry has been protective of Meghan from the start, from publicly calling out the press before for their attacks when their relationship first went public (pre-marriage, mind you), to this lawsuit now. By nature of their very public lives, Harry’s protection of Meghan will look different from us non-royals, but a man from any income bracket can still protect his wife. Protection can take many forms, from something as simple as making sure she’s okay on a day to day basis, to taking the lead on making some tough decisions, to making sure that would-be antagonists know that he stands by her side through thick and thin, and will defend her honor come hell or high water.
Sure, finances are a part of producing, and being born and married into money takes care of that. By now we all know to avoid the broke dudes and the shiftless idiots of any race, so that needs no repetition (for now). But you know what else is an important thing that needs to be produced? Results. A man can be all sound and fury, but if nothing comes of it, what’s the point? A man who truly adds value produces other things like ideas, positive, meaningful memories, and options so that his woman can add value to his life in return.
Harry has come out publicly against the media before, possibly hoping that the media would leave Meghan alone after a while. Since that failed, another tack was needed. Sometimes it takes creative solutions to solve a problem, which may take the form of litigation, or removal from a situation completely. Too often black women pick bums, and end up being not only the breadwinner, but the chief problem solver too, taking on duties more typically associated with the masculine side. A man who can solve complex problems is definitely a man worth entertaining.
Of course the Royal Family have the means to hire the best lawyers and sue a newspaper. Such wealth is not the norm, but a true provider will move heaven and earth to make sure his family is taken care of, even if he is a blue-collar bloke. Non-royal provision may look like getting a second job to help pay off his wife’s educational debt faster, or balking at the idea of splitting dates, rent, or bills 50-50, or even little things like taking the car out in the evenings to fill up the tank. Money certainly makes the providing part of the relationship equation a lot easier, but a man can assume a provider role and do a good job at it with a wide variety of incomes (but not too low, though, let’s not be hasty here).
I’d like to add a fifth P to this list, that of purge. A part of this lawsuit is as a result of dear old dad Thomas Markle sending a letter Meghan sent him to the press, who published it. Between him and Samantha, there has been no shortage of material to feed the media machine. Had the Markle side of the family tried to solve things out the public eye, perhaps this lawsuit would not have been needed. However, being married out your race and class does not exempt you from toxic family members, so cutting out the crazies, regardless of their relationship to you, can provide some much-needed peace of mind. Just like all skinfolk ain’t kinfolk, not all blood is thicker than water, either.
If you are a high-quality woman who desires a relationship with a high-quality man, don’t waste your time on a dude who expects you to give him the world in exchange for his barest of minimums. An ideal mate should be able to offer the four Ps as a minimum, with a bit of pampering, profiting, and partying too. Additionally, not because you want a 4-Ps kind of guy means you should be a lilting flower unable to do them all for yourself. Your self-worth should not hinge on your relationship status. If you are your own 4-Ps kind of gal, that’s perfectly fine too.
What’s your take on this latest lawsuit development? Is Harry’s legal action good or bad? Do share in the comments below.