On Vetting: Don’t Fall for this Game–“I Was Nice, NOW You Owe Me”

This tactic of manipulation is an old one, but it’s around because it still works. But in this day and age of revenge porn and nude blackmail photos, you young ladies better get hip to it. The game goes like this: Someone you’re dating that you start to like a little bit (or maybe it’s just still a minor flirtation) treats you nicely. You know…the basics…telling you that you’re pretty, opens your door, buys you an ice cream. You say, “Gee gosh golly! That was nice of you! Well, I’m gonna go…on with the rest of my day…”

Not so fast.

The texts start. “You know I think you’re so blah blah blah. Send me a photo of you in your panties.”

You reply with: ? ??.

“What’s the matter?” He says. Don’t you trust me?

You think about it a bit, but you remember that one girl who sent those nude photos to her ex and it ended up on Facebook. You tell him you’re not comfortable with doing that.

He replies, “I thought we were better than that. Why do you insist on lumping me in with all those other dudes? I’m not like that!!”

You waiver, finger hovering over your shutter button, but think better of it. You decline once again. Then he comes back with…

“See?! You women are all the same! Typical!!”

So when he replies in that fashion, you may have one of two urges. 1) The urges to be one of the “good” ones and submit to his request; 2) Tell him to FUCK OFF and then block him.

I’m hoping you’ll choose the latter.

The medium may be new, but the tactic isn’t. You get some dusty fool feeling like he needs to do bare minimum, common decency kind of stuff, and in return, he wants your BODY and BLOOD. The most minuscule of courtesies is magnified in this weasel’s mind to the point where he feels ENTITLED to outrageous acts of complicity from women–be it compromising photos, money, sex, whatever in exchange. Yes ladies, this is what many losers in the dating world resort to in order to get what they want.

It is abusive to relentlessly try to guilt and manipulate a woman into doing something
she isn’t comfortable with. That’s a dick move.

How many young girls or even more cosmopolitan women have had their nurturing instincts, desire to be a “good girl” or the drive to prove “I’M NOT LIKE THAT” used against them in exploitive ways for the benefit of jerks who think they are owed ALL yet give the bare minimum?

You don’t OWE anyone your pu$$y because they bought you an ice cream. You don’t OWE anyone compromising photos that would lend an unsavory person to have power over you just because he opens the door for you. Any man, I mean ANY man that you’re dating or thinking about dating who does this should be dumped IMMEDIATELY. If “NO” is not good enough, then neither is he.

It also should be mentioned that you should never allow your past mistakes color your decision to give into a manipulative-do-nothing-expect-everything type of guy. You’re not a virgin? Doesn’t mean you OWE him sex. Carrying a few extra pounds? Doesn’t mean you should be GRATEFUL for his crumbs. Men like this prey on whatever insecurities you might have in order to exploit them and use you for their own gain. They are NOT good people, and thus NEVER good partners.

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