Constance Dunn, author of Everyday Glamour, came on to my You Tube channel to discuss femininity as a tool of power in the real world–from work to relationships. The idea of femininity has been so polluted with PC nonsense that it often causes much internal conflict in women–especially black women. Many of us have absolutely no clue about how femininity works in tandem with true masculinity that it often causes conflict in our romantic relationships. What is more, the black community give little in the way of encouraging the openness and vulnerability that is required for femininity to manifest, while simultaneously complaining that black women aren’t as feminine as other races. Little do these folks realize that when they compliment and uplift the femininity of white, Asian or Hispanic women, they are actually big-upping the men of those groups, who’s patriarchy allows for its women to manifest these traits. Conversely, their complaints about black women lacking these qualities is really an indictment on the lack of an effective patriarchal system that elevates and celebrates its women in any significant way.
And they can’t blame whitey for the lack of promotion of black beauty, because Asian, Hispanic and just about every other culture manages to elevate their women as “the best” despite the white media’s limited representation of those cultures.
But this post isn’t about merely complaining about how black women aren’t allowed to be feminine in the BC. I only bring it up to give perspective. The time has passed to try and change what’s wrong with the community by begging and pleading for it to change. But it also doesn’t absolve you from knowing and understanding the ins and outs of how femininity works in the culture at large so that you can effectively navigate in larger ecosystems to attract the men, friends, and (even) job you want.
This is going to be part of a larger conversation Breukelen Bleu and I will be having offline, so make sure you’ve signed up for the mailing list so you can be apprised of the details. In the meantime, grab some tea, coffee, or wine and take this in.