Gender Conflict

Video: How to Get Along with the White Women in Your Rainbeau’s Life

Now before you rev up your fingers for a rebuttal, understand that this video is based on my own individual experiences, but as the saying goes, yours may vary. I also need to put a disclaimer here for my friends who might be reading this–the majority of my friends offline are white women, and they are wonderful, and behave nothing like what I’m about to describe. But this ain’t about my salt-of-the-earth besties. This and exploration of the darker side of bubbly personality we often attribute to white women.

I tried in this video to encapsulate some of the common reasons black women are often confused by the communication styles and social mores of white women, and feel free to expand or elaborate:

Direct vs. Subtle

Black women are often exposed to more direct communication styles. We tell it like it T-I-is. However, white women are often taught to be less confrontational, and more…passive aggressive. They are no less or no more angry than we are when provoked, but the response is often the polar opposite. However; when a white woman does blow up, she is grated she’s-having-a-bad-day privilege, and often won’t be labeled as an “angry bitch” when she acts out, especially when the tears come.

Divergent Beauty Standards

Someone on the blog said this best: “we are the pedestal upon which white women stand on.”

Good Old Fashioned Female Competition

When you look around and see women who are supposed to be on the bottom snatching up “Greg” and “Paul” because they defy the stereotype of loud, obese and uncouth “ratchet black chicks,” get ready.


Knowledge is power. But with that said, if you go into a situation in which you have to interact with a culture you’re not used to with your fists balled up and your teeth clenched, you will lose. You are going to have to go into this with an open mind, ready to take the time to judge the women in your boo’s life as individuals, and not avatars for every bitchy becky you’ve ever met. No one is asking you to act fake, but we all have facets to our personality. Pick your best ones. We all have our own battle scars dealing with vindictive women of every shade and hue. Smart women learn what’s necessary to outsmart and out charm and avoid confrontations that can potentially be damaging to our romantic relationships.

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