EarthJeff: Swirling on Planet Earth Part I (The Journey of a White Guy Dating Interracially in ‘The D’)

EarthJeff: Swirling on Planet Earth Part I (The Journey of a White Guy Dating Interracially in ‘The D’)

BB&W’s very own ‘EarthJeff’ shares his experiences as an interracially-dating tenderfoot.

Author : EarthJeff

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Well….  So most of us are familiar with the concept of  how  “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.”  Smack dab here in the middle is good old Earth, where we try to come together.  That is exactly what my (hopefully) series of Swirling on Planet Earth is going to address.  Apologies to those of you that don’t find it to be your taste… it is probably going to seem part soap-opera as it is going to focus on the swirling journey from the male perspective.  Those of you still reading that have not moved on to a different post, well, I am willing to share my personal trials and tribulations.  Starting with…. Some of you know how many of my posts ended with a bit of a tagline of “I don’t get out much”….. my swirling journey has taken a new step and I am getting out now since I met someone and am dating.  I am going to need a lot of advice on my journey, though, and am going to share with those of you STILL reading…

So far the sake of ease I will call my new “friend” Bee.  I met Bee online despite my being somewhat cynical about online social and dating sites.  I am one of those that believe for every 1000 people on those sites – especially the one I met Bee on – 999 of them are creepy, psychotic, or both.  1 out of 1000 doesn’t seem like very good odds, do they?  Yet…. That one in a thousand… they are out there.  With hundreds of thousands of folks on a site then there are good needles in that haystack.  So yes, you have to spend a lot more time vetting folks you meet online.  Hey, they odds of winning the lottery are astronomical too.  But folks DO win sometimes.

Bee wasn’t going to answer my first couple messages.  You know how on those sites you read profiles and wink at or message or “Friend” interesting possibilities.  My usual is the message along the lines of “Maam, may I politely wish you a good evening”  or “I hope you don’t mind me saying so but that dress you are wearing in the profile pic really is pretty”.  I get hit and miss responses.  Like I said, Bee wasn’t going to respond to mine at first but her 19 year old daughter (I will call her B1) convinced her to respond with some other equally safe message.  To be honest, I do not recall what it was.  One funny thing with those initial encounters… both my pic and my age were on my profile.  I wanted to be upfront rather than play games and have to Un-Do those games later.  Even though Bee was sitting as she had B1 write the response out, B1 was afraid that I would be scared off by too much of an age gap so upon knowing I am 48, B1 told me that “She” (answering for Bee) was 43.  Acceptable gap….  I have since found out that Bee is 41 and we laugh about that gap and how B1 was afraid of scaring me off if I knew that real number.  No way.  I have often joked with my own daughter, who is 19 and I will call EJ1, that at my age the acceptable dating age range is plus or minus 10 years.  In my current case, that means 38 – 58.  This relationship stuff is tough…

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YoFabulous 230 pts

Awesome.  I wish you and Bee all the best and look forward to future posts. :o)

eugeniaberg 7245 pts moderator

You go @EarthJeff oh I'll be looking for them wedding photos :-)

iHeartLove 805 pts

Yeah!!!!!!!!!

 

Good luck dating Bee!!!!! :D

 

I am looking forward to your series. I always enjoy hearing the male perspective on things because I'm often confused about what men actually think. 

tlakins 15 pts

Love this! As a fellow Detroiter, it's so interesting to hear a male's point of view on swirling in the D. I can't wait to read more.

ASwirlGirl 3221 pts

Woot Woot! Looking forward to reading more of this.

EarthJeff 3580 pts

 ASwirlGirl More on the way, Maam....

Karla 19130 pts

Now this is the kind of reality I like.  Cool story!

pioneervalleywoman 365 pts

What a nice story, thanks for sharing.  I look forward to reading more.  I find it interesting that it took the 19 year old daughter to get her to respond.  Talk about the children leading the adults!  I wonder why she didn't want to respond at first; hesitation over interracial dating in ways her daughter doesn't feel concerned about?  Something else?  I find it amazing in a goosebumps kind of way the similarities among your children, especially that your daughters have so much in common--bodes well for potential stepsisters!

EarthJeff 3580 pts

 pioneervalleywoman the similarities that the kids have is really cool.  Almost scsry..  stay tuned for more...

DWB 8830 pts

Today is my wife and I's first wedding anniversary and I met her online as well so I do wish you luck.

 

I had just figured out that this "woman" that had recently contacted me was really one of those Nigeria scams so I was VERY weary.

 

I sent a simple message to her in our initial contact "I like your smile" and her response screamed "kiss of death," something like "thank you, good luck,,,blah, blah." Depressing because, though it sounds cliche, I REALLY do love her smile (she smiles with her whole face and it is the most beautiful thing in the world.)

 

Long story short, she decided to respond again and the rest as they say is history. She is 7 years younger than I and not only did I have to win her heart, I also had to win the heart of her oldest daughter and I have to admit that I have never worked harder at anything before. She stated earlier that she wanted to be pursued and pursue I did! (I met her for our first date with flowers and a card that simply stated "consider yourself pursued."

 

I wish I could better relate in words my love for this woman, but as I once heard in a song "But this love climbs till my vocabulary stalls."

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCHfL_ElhIU

LovingMyself 295 pts

 DWB Love the card you wrote :D Great idea, lol

JusB 16 pts

@DWB That. Is so. Sweet. And I am apparently using all the wrong avenues to find the One :-P

DWB 8830 pts

 JusB  I was kinda weary myself of the online route, but it worked for me. I wish you well.

MixedUpInVegas 1691 pts

Good luck, Jeff!    As time goes by, age differences don't mean as much.  Once you pass 40, it becomes a minor factor, assuming there are no major health issues.  Beloved Spouse is 10 years older than I am--since we are both old, it doesn't matter all that much.

 

Internet dating isn't all bad, but you are right to be cautious.  I was the one who sent a "wink" to the man who is now known as Beloved Spouse.  Never thought he would respond because I figured he was just too good looking to be interested in a middle-aged widow.  A year later, we were saying I Do.  You never know!

luckystar428 208 pts

Hope everything works out for you :)

JusB 16 pts

I'm so happy for you, EarthJeff, and I look forward to seeing how this journey goes for you! (Rather eagerly, too - I was surprised to reach the end of this post so quickly. :-P )

EarthJeff 3580 pts

 JusB Ah... this was just a taste.  Wanted to see how it went over.  Shouldnt have been skeptical... one of the contributors in our community here whom I respect a great deal told me it would go over well..

Brice Cameron 2268 pts

 EarthJeff  JusB 

These girls aren't so bad.  Just don't show fear.  They can smell it.

 

I kid, I kid.

Statuesque 2063 pts

Thank you for sharing your story EarthJeff.  I'm rooting for EJBee!  It's kind of cool that your daughters are the same age too.

Brenda55 20963 pts moderator

 Statuesque 

EJBee! 

A newly minted ship tag. Things sure move fast around here.

Statuesque 2063 pts

 Brenda55 Couldn't help myself Brenda55 lol *hangs head*

Brenda55 20963 pts moderator

 Statuesque Nah.  I think its good.  Hope Jeff likes it. 

EarthJeff 3580 pts

 Statuesque "It's kind of cool that your daughters are the same age too."

It is. I will talk about this more but they are almost virtual twins except for one being white and one being black.  Their personalities, interests, etc are exactly alike.  They are both even going to college for the same thing.  Each of our second children are the age too, my son and her daughter are both in 10th grade

Brenda55 20963 pts moderator

Oh Jeff I am so happy for you.  Good luck and looking forward to reading your posts.

 

About the age range thing.  Keith is 13 years older than I. Not really a biggie.  That age difference thing matters a lot less as we mature and both parties have more life experience under their belts.  Your range is about right and I think that people do themselves a disservice in the dating mart with  a much too narrow age ange especially when they are older. A 10 to 15 year range is about right IMO.

KingsDaughter 4981 pts

Yayyy!!! A post from a guy. No offence of course to any of the ladies who blog here but this is such  a breath of fresh air. On the story itself, well, I'm rooting for you and code name Bee :))

EarthJeff 3580 pts

 KingsDaughter Thanks.  The code name Bee - the names have been changed to protect the innocent, lol - comes from my pet name for her as I call her "HoneyBee"....

KingsDaughter 4981 pts

 Brenda55  EarthJeff LOL, that's so adorable!

LovingMyself 295 pts

 EarthJeff  KingsDaughter Cute *smiling*

ASwirlGirl 3221 pts

 KingsDaughter

 I'm with you on the "a post from a guy." I really wish the men who read this blog would write more!