Matthew Hussey and BB&W Meet Again to Talk “Swirling,” and How to Deal with Disapproval

I loved the video guys.  Great info!

He is so right and truly hottt ! seriously when i played this video in my kitchen my mother walked in and stopped what she was doing and was like, WHO'S THAT! lol I guess we have similar tastes.

Oh yeah, and I agree with him on how to deal with disapproval. Just put the haters and staring faces on ignore and be really into your sweetie. I remember when my husband and I started dating and he took me to D.C. for a Buddhist exhibit. We had a great time and this was after we had been seeing each other a little over a month and established that things were "going there". We were somewhere (I can't remember right now) and he simply turned to me and gave me the biggest hug and started kissing me. It was so unexpected and at first I was thinking, "He's kissing me in front of all these people! Oh my goodness". I never had such a sweet display of affection in public ever even though I've been dating IR since high school. That and I was a bit up tight about public displays of affection. But it was in that moment that I realized that it didn't matter whether people were offended or not, I was having a good time with my boyfriend and we were so connected that nobody else mattered. They weren't even on the same planet were on as far as we were concerned.

Another thing. Disapproving people don't pay your bills. They won't be living in your house or sleeping in your bed either. They don't matter.

 Mr. Hussey better be glad that I'm a married woman with kids. He's too hot! I love the accent and I just like his vibe. If I were a single lady of 25, he would be a swirl virgin no longer, because I would have to go after him. He's beautiful.

I went to dinner with my date from India in the middle of rural USA because it was close to the river. The stares were hard to notice when we were in conversation. Matthew is right, the hardest part of interracial dating is not caring what other people think. Your connection has to be stronger than other people's opinions

hubbah hubbah.

Thanks for the link!!!

I think to be fair, we're all on this site because we're all a bit "befuddled about why such a book is necessary"!!!!!

But it still is.

The chemistry between you two is great!!

Please add his link.

Also Matthew is great but he needs to understand that swirling is a way of life in the UK but in America it's not. With no disrespect to our cousins on the other side of the pond; you're not really known for your live and let live ethos. In Europe, we just do the eye judgement thing; perhaps a slight tut.

My few and meagre attempts at swirling in the US have left me feeling rather exposed and not entirely safe.

You two are too cute. My goodness. This is awesome. I was married to a 6'4" American of Polish-Ukranian descent, and we'd get stares all the time. I just assumed it was because we were really good looking. That's all there was to it. They could stare all they want. It didn't matter. I wish people worried less about what others think in general.

The thing about disapproval no matter what it's in, is that it will always be there. That is a comforting & discomforting thought at the same time. No matter where you go there will probably be someone that disapproves of you & your relationship but that really probably applies to a bunch of relationships. So you're actually not alone, so do self-compassion let the feeling in but don't try to ignore it. The more we ignore it, the more powerful the feeling of disapproval becomes. But just feel it, then let it go b/c you're not thebfirstnor the last person that will feel,that way. By doing this you take the power way from the emotion instead of tamping it down so it can fester into resentment or uncomfortableness that we'll figure out how to express in some bad way, you take the power from the emotion and you move on with your life. It should be something you can talk to your partner about to and be judged as too sensitive or emotional.

"99% of people in life allow the quality of their lives to be determined by the thoughts of strangers."

I'm SO stealing that!  I can visualise using it.  "yack yack QUOTE [unattributed] yack"  "OMG, Wanxi, you're a GENIUS!"  "Yeah, thanks for saying that"  mwuhahahaha!

Heck, I'm thieving the whole thing after that part too, too.  Matthew is great!