Question of the Week: “When Should Religion Be a Deal Breaker?”

Dear Christelyn Karazin,

I am a current college graduate and I have been looking into interracial dating and came across your website and love it. I went to a a large university so I diversified my friends (from just Vietnamese and black to everyone I can) while there plus I minored in Asian Studies. I was talking with a few of my co-workers about the type of guy that I like/attract. It came down to the fact that I like Latino and Asian males and attract Asian and White but my problem came with religion. Since I live in Texas most of the Asian/Latino guys that I meet happen to be Catholic but I am Protestant. I just feel that since I spend so much time with my church family and events that I would be easier to have a boyfriend that was of the same religion as me. So is it wrong or am I too strict for making religion a deal breaker?



I’m sorry to break this to you…but…Protestants and Catholics have one key thing in common. They are CHRISTIANS. They BOTH believe that Jesus was the son of God and died for our sins. Sarah, you and your potential rainbeau are the same religion. You’re just different denominations. My husband was baptized a Catholic and I was raised in a Baptist church. We have been married for over 10 years. While he went to Catholic churches and schools his whole life, he wasn’t married to it, and was open to visiting my non-denominational church and found himself really liking it. We talk about this very issue in multiple chapters in SWIRLING.

The problem I have with all this denomination stuff is that is serves to only further separate us. Only Baptists go to heaven! Catholicism is a cult! Mormons are all crazy polygamists! Isn’t it ironic that we put more restrictions on people that GOD himself?! If things get serious and you children, you both celebrate the same holy holidays.

Now if your denomination is part of your culture, and all those Catholic saints and Hail Mary’s are just too much out of the question for you, then denomination might be a deal breaker for you. But if most of the Latino and Asian men in your area are Catholic, make sure it’s in name only, so that you might have a chance to have them see things your way. Or here’s a thought–bag the silly denominational stuff and just join a church that teaches you about how to love your neighbor.  Kind of like what Jesus did.