Question of the Week: “Why Do Men Give Such Mixed Signals?”

A reader wrote in with a question that left me scratching my head, so I brought in the heavy artillery! [See below]

“I am a 24 year old student From Brooklyn, NY and most of my life I have been attracted to men outside my race (I have only really dated once when I was twenty it didn’t last long) I went to girlfriend mode to quickly…

But anyways a couple of months me and my girlfriend’s were invited to a party from some old h.s friends… In hipsterville U.S.A We get there have fun I meet this guy lets call him E and from the first moment we met he was instantly a flirt I honestly don’t know how to flirt I am shy and awkward… at first I was thinking “oh what a nice guy” but my friends pointed out he was flirting with me…

Basically we go to more events and every time I saw E he flirted with me like he wanted me and he is a San Diego Transplant we chatted on fb a lot he was always trying to get close to me I once forgot my wallet at his apartment and just plan to do a dash and go and I stayed and hung out with him we were really conversing and really getting to know each other he said he did not care about color, weight, etc… and when i was leaving he whispered in my ear.. “you should leave your wallet here more often” and he even called me beautiful once and E had various instances where he extremely flirtatious towards me.. Even my Best friend who is good at this dating game noticed.. she said.. ‘Is he smitten” I finally told E how I felt about cause I honestly thought he wanted me.. and I noticed he would always pay more attention to me rather than all the other women at these events… But alas he told me he was trying to find himself and he just got over some Ex and he was being friendly.. I am sorry even my male friends aren’t that friendly…

I haven’t seen him since i told him, i just feel so embarrassed He wants to be friends and wants to work with me (We are both musicians) I don’t get attention from most men… and this was my first white boy crush… I know I going to have to see again we are part of a organization… I just don’t get it cause it wasn’t like all these instances was all in my noggin.. i have kept my distance because I just don’t want him thinking I am a fiend… What’s your opinion was he even slightly into me? should I be his friend and wait it out??? or is this a lost cause? he is a really sweet guy I just don’t know??? and P.s- My friend recently went to a event sans me and of course he asked where as I??? I didn’t want to show my face but I will eventually have to….”

Here’s me and my special guest, Dr. Gilda Carle, have to say. Take notes!

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The Man Myth