This little bit of go-kill-yourself news appeared on my Facebook feed this evening…
In a study that could be classified as “How does this help America,” University of Michigan demographer Cassandra Dorius, the study’s author, states that 28 percent of American women with two or more children have them with more than one father. Tragically, the percentage for black women is more than twice the national average.
The study concludes that more than 59 percent of black women who have more than one child also have multiple babies’ daddies. Hispanics are a distant second at 35 percent, with white women holding steady at 22 percent.
This should be a surprise to um…nobody, because we are well aware of the epidemic out-of-wedlock rate in the black community.
But what I find funny (not in a ha-ha sort of way but in a this-ish-ain’t-right sort of way) is that as usual, the focus and bad news about black women leans towards the idea that the cradle of destruction for the black community lies at our whoring feet, whorish whores that we are. Yet when there’s news about how one in three black men are unfairly abused in prison it’s all weeping and bleeding hearts.
What the headline SHOULD have said was…
Why? BECAUSE THAT’S HOW IT IS. After the No Wedding No Womb epic clustercuss, I realized a sobering truth: Black men haven’t been marrying black women for so long that black women no longer expect to be married (or at least in a long-term committed relationship) before having children. What’s more, the mere thought of having to get a guy to marry you before he plants his seed in your womb might often throw them into a blind rage. But why?
These days, being an intact, functioning family in the hood will get your kids beat up at school every day. The fact is the majority of black women simply do not expect or require black fathers to be plugged in for the long haul, because there are simply not enough of these men for every woman. I was disabused of the notion that black men should marry their children’s moms back in 1997 when I was four months pregnant with Maxi Me and her father, college educated, in the church, blah blah blah, told me after over one year of dating and cohabitating, that just because I was having his child didn’t mean he had to marry me. Idiots try to use this bit of information about my past as some club to beat me down with, but I’ve admitted this fact freely, and the stats above show that I’m not alone. It wasn’t because I wasn’t pretty enough, or special enough, or smart enough. The issue did not lie with me, but from the culture that produced Maxi’s father, whose own father has multiple children littered all over Los Angeles even though his is college educated and a practicing attorney. So miss me with that ish about “Christelyn’s baby’s father didn’t want her and she’s just bitter, that’s why she advocates swirling!” Well let me tell you something, you congenital idiots who say this, it’s either swirling or continuing with this dysfunctional cycle where black women are ALWAYS blamed and ALWAYS put at the bottom.
After reading stats like this, there should not be one single black woman on Earth begrudging another for throwing up her hands in her quest for Mr. Perfect Black Unicorn. If you find him and you want him and he wants you back, that’s loverly. But smart women know their options and exercise them. I’m convinced that if the majority of black women knew that men of other races often come from a culture in which fathers are committed to the mothers of their children, we’d see these stats less and less.