Book Writing Adventures

A Short History of Trollpania and Why I (Sometimes) Let Them Vomit Doo-Doo on the Carpet.

Some of my precious BB&W readers wonder why I’m not a bit more fascist in how I manage Trollippians. The vets know I give them some rope. The newbies may come here and read their verbal excreta and be dismayed…at first. I’ll explain. But before I do, you must suffer through my made-up allegory.

Trollippians are from the land of Trollpania. There are various countries on the continent, but I’ll focus on just two prominent ones: Negromia and Caucasia. Negromia Trollippians don’t eat food, rather, they eat hope, dreams, and new ideas that don’t go in lockstep with their official constitution, WHICH CLEARLY STATES that Negroes must not listen to Josh Groban, Def Leopard, use Aqua Net, or date/marry inter-racially. BUT, that LAST thing only goes for negritas. Negroes can date, marry, knock up whatever or whichever, but negritas are to be perpetually the vessels of negro sperm, the unisex parent any children that may result from all that sperm dumping and just shut up about it and go to church. Not that ALL negroes are bad. I’ll NEVER say that, because it’s simply not true. But there’s simply not enough of them to go around and cloning is more art than science.

Negromians are arch enemies of Caucasians, unless of course, the Caucasians are giving them something. You see, one kabillion years ago, Caucasians were at war with Negromians and used a “scorched earth” strategy to defeat them. There are two main factions of Caucasians: one which feels a bit guilty about what they did to the Negromians and another, the Sarah Pallians, who is just about sick to death of hearing about it. And let’s not even talk about the third faction who lives in the woods eagerly preparing for the next war between the Negros and the Caucasoids. You know them by their love for shaved heads, combat boots, and Wal*Mart rollbacks. (sorry about that Wally, but you know it’s true)



So why do I EVER give Trollippians the floor in the soft, cushy, eggplant-colored world of BB&W? Short answer: Because YOU NEED to hear what they are saying about you, and what lengths they will go to keep you down.

I won’t rehash some of the stuff these guys do, but a quick look at this post will give you an idea. I get some flak from some of the BWE vets because, well, they’ve heard all the bull honky before and are a little concerned that BWE tender shoots will be discouraged by Negromian nay-saying and just go back to being miserable (that is, if they are, of course).

To this I say, TOO DAMNED BAD. If newbies or the curious are too delicate to read about what might await them from Negromanics, then they better go to a lab and get some skin graphs or call it a day. Going against the Negromian Constitution isn’t always easy. In fact, the shite can downright be hard and hell sometimes. Neophytes need to be prepared, and vets need not sugar coat. At some point, BWE followers make an important choice: take advantage of the freedom they have ALWAYS had to demand respect, love, commitment, protection and provision, and marriage and legitimate children (that too,if she wants those cute little crumb snatchers) or…not.

AND! Most of you know I am on contract with Simon & Schuster to write a book about interracial and intercultural relationships that’s a survival guide. But how can you survive, much less thrive if you don’t know what you’re up against and if you aren’t prepared for what Negromians and the Third Reich of Caucamaniacs might say and do to discourage you?

That said, BB&W is primarily a source for fellowship with like-minded ladies and will ALWAYS be a soft place to fall on your ass after falling over laughing.

In closing, I let the Trollippians in and I throw them a rope and let THEM tie it into a noose, like they ALWAYS do. I use them as examples, but WE RUN this, not them. But to act like the ugliest bird on Earth that doesn’t EVEN fly and likes to stick it’s head in the sand:

…is ultimately not going to give you the seeds for the nuts you need to grow if you go against the grain.

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