Book Writing Adventures

Another Snippet of a Chapter: The Three-Date Rule

So based on my own experiences, reading enough relationship books to give me a PhD, talking to experts, couples, the Wise Ones of the BB&W Crew, I came up with The Three-Date Checklist. It’s tailored to that hawt black women don’t waste their time and viable ovaries on folks who might just be stringing them along.

Feel free to critique, add some comments or feedback, but don’t tell me it sucks.

I’m too vulnerable right now. *Off to suck from the bottle of vodka I bought at the Wal*Mart…*


(Christelyn Karazin, copyright 2011)

Now that you know what a serious swirler acts like, it’s your job to filter the trolls from the princes, the wheat from the chaff. But you can’t go on your first date with a list of questions about your date’s political affiliations, relationship with his parents, or whether or not he’s the company kiss-up. Too many personal questions on the first date is a no-no, and THOSE kinds of questions are borderline Gestapo.

Go by the three-date-rule. First date is about compatibility and attraction, second date is more of the same, third date let’s you know if you really want a fourth or fifth one. During the course of dates one through three, you can pick up on certain behaviors that might indicate whether or not Mr. Rainbeau will turn out to be Mr. Right.

The Three-Date Checklist
• Location, location, location: Where is Mr. Potential taking you for your first date? If it’s in his apartment because he wants to cook you dinner, that’s a red flag. For your own safety a first date should be in a public place. And if a guy only wants to meet you in secret, chances are he doesn’t want to be seen in public with you. Lastly, “cook you dinner” is often code for “Come over for wine and frozen pizza on my turf so I can seduce you out of your panties.”
• Shifty Eyes: Take note of a man who isn’t focusing on you, but on whether or not people are looking at the two of you. This guy cares way too much about what people think and is NOT his own man.
• Sex Talk Too Early: This goes for ANY guy. If your date gives suggestive sexual talk anytime on the first date, run. This guy’s is not interested in you as a whole [hole, haha!] person–just the reproductive parts.
• He Acts Like He Doesn’t Know You in Public: The only time a guy should walk ahead of you in the Western world is to open the door for you. He doesn’t have to be mushy and display lots of PDA, but he should make it clear that he is out WITH YOU.
• He Has a Preoccupation with Your Blackness: Of course you want your date to think you’re hot. He may comment on the lovely tone of your skin, the cotton-softness of your ‘fro and how that dress you’re wearing falls and clings in all the right places. But if he starts with idiotic cliches, like “The blacker the berry the sweeter the juice!” or “I just love eating chocolate!” It’s time to exit, Stage Left.
• Find Out If He Lives at Home with His Parents…Pronto. Yes, it’s a slow economy, and living with your parents for a brief stint isn’t unusual these days. But when a guy lives with his parents, it’s their house and their rules. As a side note, it is not unusual for an Asian or Italian man to live at home with his parents until he gets married. But again, the parental influence is strong, and if mommy and daddy don’t approve, chances are you’ll be the one getting boot.
• Observe How He Treats Other People: Observe, observe, observe. Dating is about gathering data, so best to get as much as you can before you get attached. Does he speak to the waiter or waitress respectfully or with disdain? Is the whole date about how he hates is mother, father, the French, and cuddly little puppies? Don’t think you’re special–he’ll add you to the list if things don’t work in his favor.

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