I feel a mixture of compassion and frustration with black women who are determined to degrade themselves in the pursuit of seeking validation from poisonous sources.
These women are often hostile to those who tell them that it’s pointless to self-segregate from the world when black men are doing the exact opposite.
Not only that, these men are often dragging the beauty and reputation of black women to FILTH while knowing that black women will desperately continue to sing their praises out of fear that they’ll have absolutely nothing if they dare to do otherwise.
It’s more or less a “keep hope alive” gesture. Anyone that interferes with validation-seeking black women and their behaviors typically will suffer the wrath of these women at some point.
Still, it’s hard to watch black women commit “emotional suicide”. What I mean by emotional suicide is to commit acts that slowly and figuratively destroy the precious, unique individual.
The act or actions leave these black women so empty, they can only hope to experience value through another person or group, a sort of proxy.
For many black women, that proxy is black men. They don’t merely hold up black men out of love; they do so because black manhood is the only form of self-love they are allowed.
This may seem strange, even unbelievable, but bear with me for a minute.
Some black women are simply attracted to black men. Okay. Some NBAB women only want black men and will loudly tell anyone and everyone about it.
But there is something typically more unfortunate at the heart of some black women’s behavior who constantly white knight DBR black men.
These women have no sense of self, to the point where they only talk about black men. What they think, feel, and need and why it’s far more important that black women focus on these things than their own best interests.
It is often so bad, you may be tempted to assume the person is a BM troll pretending to be a woman.
The tone is the key.
BM trolls who pretend to be black women are often ugly in their tone, unable to hide their intraracial misogyny and hatred of black women. They refer to black women separately from themselves, even though they are claiming to be black women. It is CLEAR they identify with black men because they are black men.
A place like this that screams “character over color” and “you are at the bottom of no one’s totem pole” and “black men who act up are not worth your time” are constant slaps in the face to these women.
Not only do we hold DBR black men accountable for their behavior, we make it loud and clear we aren’t checking for them.
These women are ERASING THEMSELVES in a desperate bid for love and here we are laughing at the very same words that make these women feel like nothing.
But because they do not allow themselves to be rid of the black male trolls who make them feel like dirt, they instead turn their make-shift wrath on us.
“How dare you talk about black men and black love that way!”
When someone can only experience love and happiness as a black person through black men, they feel like they’re being attacked when you discuss black men in less than glowing terms.
Calling these men out means calling out the only thing that gives these women value. At least, that’s what they delude themselves into believing!
That’s how proxies work: When you threaten someone’s only source of self-worth, even if it’s secondary, they’re going to have a problem with YOU.
Yes, they are mad at us and not the individuals that have denied validation for so long, it’s a forgone conclusion that these persons are not to expect to be loved or validated. Crazy, isn’t it?
And of course some black women who engage in extreme validation-seeking behaviors and are content to be black by proxy (existing as secondary black men rather than as black women…) will tell you that they are happy with how things are.
We’re just being big ol’ meanies who should BACK [email protected]!
Except we’re not attacking them…we’re trying to help them see that they are perfectly valuable as they are. That they don’t have to erase their precious black womanhood or continue to crush their souls by begging men who hate them to love them.
Sometimes you have to let women slide to the bottom of the barrel with the rest of the crabs and expect not everyone wants to be “saved” from the hell of intraracial misogyny.
They want to help perpetrate it instead, because it’s who they are and all they know.
My advice is to pity these women…and avoid them. I’m not going to waste my energy on these women and I advice other black women not to either. Either they’ll get it together eventually or never at all.
All you can do is say a prayer and focus on your life and happiness.