Written by Nicole
I know I’m in the minority when I say I like Candace Owens. She goes against the grain, and while I do not agree with much of her politics or stances, she certainly has a lot of chutzpah. Any black woman brave enough to publicly question black group think should be a case study. You don’t have to agree with, or like Candace, to see that she’s no fool.
I can’t be mad at a black woman making a name for herself in an overwhelmingly racist-white-male dominated arena. Candace is incredibly strategic, cunning, and smart. And though her die-hard Republicanism, anti-climate change stance and coronavirus response and several of her talking points grates against my own more moderate sensibilities, I respect her. Despite not finishing college she is highly educated. She married well. She could possibly even pursue dual citizenship via her British husband, and simultaneously hold two powerful passports. Because of my opinion on Candace, I’m sure the comments with raccoon gifs and the like will soon follow. Try a new insult.
She recently announced that she and her husband, hedge fund employee George Farmer, are expecting their first child, due some time in December 2020.
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ANNOUNCEMENT: I remember the first time I learned about abortion in school. “It’s a clump of cells until after 3 months” said my obtuse gym teacher turned health instructor. Fast forward to more than a decade later to my 10 week scan, and I will never forget the feelings I experienced. I was amazed that our baby already had arms and legs, hands and feet and was dancing around inside me. I was overcome by an inexorable sense of love followed by the powerful realization that I would do anything and everything to protect my unborn child. But I was mostly astonished that all those years ago in high school, I was lied to. I was brainwashed into believing that it was my body, and therefore, simply, my choice. Today it’s become fashionable for narcissistic celebrities, to perpetuate such brainwash amongst their fans. Like @mileycyrus, posing half-naked with her tongue out over a cake that reads “abortion”. Like @jameelajamilofficial, tweeting to scores of vulnerable young girls about how “proud” she is of an earlier abortion from her teen years. Years ago, I would have thought these women were heroic feminists. Today I know that they are anything but. And so as I move into this next chapter of my life I want to say this: To all of the young girls who have vocally supported abortion— you are allowed to change your mind. To all the young women who made uninformed decisions to go through with abortions: you are not “murderers” and you are not automatically disqualified from being pro-life. You too can have a change of heart. Education followed by transformation is one of life’s greatest offerings. These past 5 1/2 months have been a whirlwind. A viral video with over 200 million views, comedians threatening to physically assault me, adult men degrading me because they disagree with my viewpoints on George Floyd, while others have accused me of not “showing up”, not being invited, or not caring enough to jump into the perpetual protest scene. It is such a relief to finally share the truth. Life is a miracle. Life is sacred. And when women carry life, we get to become the keepers of some of the Universe’s greatest secrets: beginnings.
While I respect that she made herself somewhat of a household name as a firebrand, I do hope to see a few things change with her expectant bundle of joy. These tips can also work for everyday black women as well – black women regardless of wealth still face a tremendous amount of risk when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth, so any additional precaution that can be taken to make everything as smooth as possible should be taken. As for Candace, I hope:
Twitter, and social media in general, is a cesspool. Rather than engage with people who don’t want to even think of seeing things from her point of view, I hope she just goes dark for a few months, or even a few years. For non-famous black women, social media blackouts are great, not just to avoid falling into the pit of comparison, trauma bonding, and general foolishness, but to avoid the urge to overshare every minute detail of your life.
If there’s anything I wished more black women in particular did, it would be moving in stealth. As she is wont to do, Candace politicized her pregnancy reveal, name dropping two actresses while affirming her pro-life stance. Such a statement is right on brand for her. The cat is out of the bag now, but I hope she reveals nothing more about baby #1 until s/he is starting high school. Why give enemies any ammunition?
Candace’s situation is unique because she is insulated by white wealth and a bit of notoriety. But the hatred of black women knows no bounds, so her pregnancy actually might make her higher risk for violence. She didn’t attend the RNC for reasons unknown, but I think it’s smart – between the pandemic, her talking points and the reaction it gets, and the general flak black women receive for stepping out the group think lane, self-preservation of herself and her baby is paramount. Nixing public outings during a pandemic spread by spit droplets is wise, famous or not, pregnant or not, is the smart thing to do.
Candace already has a book out. Perhaps in her time away she can write another one, this time sharing what her experience as a black conservative mother has been like. I’d be up for reading that. I’m no political pundit, but I’m sure there’s no shortage of things she can do, and be paid for it, while on an extended maternity leave. Because of the challenges black women face in the maternity period, it is imperative that black women are in the best possible position, emotionally, spiritually, and definitely financially, so they can start their motherhood journey on the right foot. For black women who aren’t in the spotlight, this may mean delaying motherhood until finances are more secure, limiting the children you have to just one, even though you wanted a big family, or consider being that rich auntie as you live a childfree life.
Motherhood is a scary and exciting journey. As black women, we have to make many considerations other race women don’t have to do, to ensure as smooth a journey as possible. Because of an inherently racist medical system, black women, from Serena Williams to Candace Owens to you and me, must take care to be active and vocal in every part of our motherhood experience. Choose a partner that is of a similar mindset, and will move heaven and earth to make what needs to happen, happen.
Disclaimer: This blog was written by me, Nicole, and my ideas are not necessarily reflective of Christelyn Karazin or other writers on this platform.