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Gender Conflict

Carrie: “Is ‘Sexy’ A Compliment?” 

sexy_lips_1
by
Carrie Thompson
Sexy. The Apple Dictionary defines the term as inciting arousal. My overly-active mind doesn’t take it as an insult, but how much more worth do I possess than the power to give wood? How can ‘sexy’ be deemed a compliment? Here is my take…
Chocolate. A disclaimer placed on my beauty. Not a fan.
Beautiful. What about beautiful? Does beautiful encapsulate what I really am? Isn’t that what all women want, to be seen and appreciated for individual beauty? Is beauty itself, as a whole, unique? Or are there so many variances of beauty it is ever-present? Beauty is of no eternal value.
Bad bitch. Dime. Side chick. All addressing the desired physique of a soulless woman with a free vagina. Terms only used only by the most basic life forms.
Are women accepting even the laziest and most generic of compliments?
What if, through even the most mundane human contact, we women held each suitor to the highest of standards when complimenting us? Adoration can be a situational upper or downer dependent upon the tone, timing, place, and issuer.
The toothless guy at the corner store says ‘hey beautiful,’ I’m automatically defensive. Appearance devalues not the sincerity of his statement, but my reception. It just does. Don’t know about you, but a series of losers telling me how hot I am, does make me crave the kind words of a more ‘doable’ man. Esteem comes not from their words but from my self worth, which is where we should delve, below the surface.
Several acquaintances of mine offer their take on effective ways to give a genuine compliment: Charlie, a 25-year-old male surfer from Studio City says he drops “the ‘nice shoes, nice bag’ line to get her to smile but the most sincere compliment is to avoid hurting a woman’s feelings, rather than a blanket statement.” When asking about using a compliment as an icebreaker, Charlie sarcastically piped up: “… because being nice means you automatically want their phone number or worse. I really do like your bag.” The man has a point.
A 30-year-old female General Manager in Culver City named Whisper says that compliments are only magical when they are sporadic and (politely) interrupt a bonding session; “intense energy and eye contact are the only way… to grab and ground me.” What is more lovely than bearing your soul to another? Seems legit.
Personally, I am most attracted to guys who refrain from brownnosing. Enjoy compliments? Yes. More so appreciate the time and effort made towards being with me. What more does flattery say than the ‘lusty bedroom eye’ onlookers freely toss out on the street?
Should we stop being so defensive and allow even the lamest guy shower us with his tired lines? Hell, we don’t have to respond to it, and not every battle is worth winning. Most women on the street are so closed off and expecting to be disrespected. Why not appreciate it all while we’ve got the agility and body to kill those tights and stilettos?
If being sexy is a compliment, it’s a lazy one at best. Certain women will always prefer their brown skin to be praised above all else, just not me. I want to be loved for my intellect first, persona second, all else is subject to change so says the good Lord.
Radiating confidence that magnetizes all colors and sizes of men piques interest.  Arousal [should] require more than people watching from a distance. The best compliments are from people who truly know you and usually the subject of all your perfect imperfections.
Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog.

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