I just got this comment from a guy named ‘Wanxi Law,’ a soon-to-be insomnia doctor. Wanxi, and you do me first when you get your degree, because shot of a bat, it takes a lot to knock me out at night.
His comment came from a previous Question of the Week: Should Black Women Take Their Cues from Asian Women, deserves not to be buried in the 149 comments already posted there.
So, take it away, Wanxi!
I’ve lurked for months here because I find the topic quite interesting. OK, about me; Chinese from Hong Kong, Clinical Neurophysiologist specializing in Sleep Medicine in LA.
Asian Women go for White Men because White Men ask them out. OK, there’s a few of the “I don’t date men with black hair” types out there but mostly the imbalance is due to a pronounced lack of social skills on the part of Asian men. I’m the exception that proves the rule, at least in my own head.
Take every negative physical stereotype of Chinese men you may have and double it. That guy is me, only better looking, LOL. However, my two older sisters taught me how to approach and talk to women when I was in Middle School. Yeah, I have great pickup lines like “Hello”, “Good Morning” and the killer “Would you like to by my lab partner?”. This skill seems to elude most Chinese males. I think they believe that the women will come to them. Keep waiting, Lei Feng, I’m sure it will happen. Someday, in an alternate universe, maybe. Meanwhile, I’ll just continue my meet and greet routine.
Also, Asian women see the larger picture in men. Case in point. We recently had a Neurology resident come through on Sleep Medicine rotation. He was the ultimate stereotypical weedy little Jewish Guy. He was also one of the nicest, most caring people I’d met in a long time and didn’t consider himself a “Medical Deity”, but went into medicine to help people. Kind of guy I wouldn’t mind marrying my sister, if I had one that was single.
He was the kind of man other men like as a person. I noticed that the White women in the office ignored him, the Black women looked through him like he wasn’t there and the Jewish women made snarky little jokes about him and the fact that he probably wouldn’t make the $5,000 line. That’s “Does he make $5,000 a week”, BTW. Just my opinion, but some people are just a little too taken with themselves and their ability to produce Jewish children.
David mentioned that he was dating a Korean girl who was doing her practicum as a Diagnostic Sonographer with a local university in the same hospital. One day, he was even more cheerful than usual, as she was coming to have lunch with him in our physician break room. I had to see this first hand, so I ordered in from the cafeteria.
OK, I ran through the stereotypes I have of Korean women and figured that she’d be a nice clean average Korean girl and hopefully she’d be pleasant with him. When she showed up, well, I almost called the airport to tell them that the Korean Airlines flight was missing a cabin attendant. Miss Universe pageant missing a contestant. KBS missing a weather lady. You get the picture. Lunch for them consisted of a bunch of food she brought that she’d made. Or maybe picked up at a local Korean restaurant.
She was doing the full-on Little Miss Lotus Flower routine and it was working. It would have worked on me and I know better! He went off to answer a page. I looked at her and she looked at me. I said that David was one of the most decent human beings I’d ever encountered and that I’d hate to see him get hurt. She knew enough to drop the shenanigans and told me that David was everything she’d ever wanted in a man and she’d never do anything to ruin that. She meant it, too; I could tell. “Besides, Doctor, he loves me and that’s good enough.” Then, next breath, she tells me she has a sister in Dental School who is single. I told her I was busy with my PhD, but thanks anyway.
So, that’s what your up against, ladies.
Asian women have been doing this for centuries and they’re frighteningly good at it. My sisters who taught me how to talk to women, both physicians like the rest of the family, married up. Taiwanese investment bankers who came out of The Crash with lots of cash that’s getting converted to gold, probably as I’m typing this comment.
As for me, I actually am too busy with the PhD. When that’s done and the research product gets picked up by a medical equipment company for the right price, I’ll probably send Grandmother Chu off to Taiwan or Hong Kong or [maybe] Shanghai for six months. I know she’ll do well for me in the wife search. All I require is that the woman is not a Sleep Medicine specialist. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life talking shop.
I hope you all succeed at your goals. Success really is the best revenge and it feels good too!
Above all, don’t settle for less than you deserve.