Dating & Marrying Ethnic Men

Guest of the Inner Sanctum: Lorriane Spencer Says, Take Your Rainbow Manhunt On The Road!

I hate thinking about missed opportunities. Just like the time when I finished college and planned a trip to Italy with a girlfriend. Alas, we had a falling out about a month before, and poof! my chance to have multiple orgasms after pizza, meatballs and Chianti with Antonio, my imaginary Italian boyfriend, vanished like jet fuel vapor. Mama mia! When I think of the dating and mating binge I could have had I get a little depressed.

So when that happens, I pull out Serpico or The Godfather. Because looking at Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro when they were young and hot is sometimes the BEST medicine.

Wasn't he yummy???

Oh, Antonio! The fun we could have had! BOO HOO!

So my fellow BWE sister, Lorriane Spencer, is here to smack some sense into you so you’ll book a trip to a foreign country and get your international swirl on already. Geez…what are you waiting for? There’s a smorgasbord abroad just waiting for you to sample.


Want To Marry Interracially and Internationally?

By Lorraine Spencer

There are all kinds of books, blogs and articles written for black women on how and where to meet non-black men. If you are still unsure about where to go after having read all there is to read, then you may want to pay attention. But sisters, are we paying attention? How creative are you about meeting quality men?

My focus is to point out two great opportunities that were missed by many. For instance, I am aware of many black American women married not only interracially, but internationally. There are sisters living all over Europe in places like Germany, Sweden, Finland, The Netherlands, Finland, Iceland, Australia, Japan, China, Africa and any number of other countries. They are living happily with their husbands from their respective countries. Many more are engaged preparing to make their move overseas.

I realize that not everyone can live overseas and need to remain stateside for multiple reasons. But for those who think they could give it a try should do just that. The same plane that took you there can bring you back if things don’t work out. It is not always as simple as that, but for those who can open their minds to the possibility of happiness outside America, the world opens up for you.

So where did all these couples meet? They met through friends, families, chance and luck. But the vast majority met online through a variety of interracial Internet dating sites. A well written profile can net lots of responses from quality men. Weeding through the responses can be time consuming as well but for the determined sister, she will find her man. For those who just don’t want to do the online dating thing, that is OK too but keep in mind that you should not limit yourself of any legitimate means of meeting your possible soul mate.

The 2010 Winter Olympics held in Vancouver is a perfect example of missed opportunity. One of my black girlfriends covered the games (she is a sports reporter). She told me of the ocean of white men from all over the world cheering on their respective countries. Over 82 countries were represented. My friend was happy to be engaged to a quality white man, but she could have had her pick of a literal ocean of wm there to support their respective countries. She wanted to shout off the rooftops that sisters should have been there in force — not just to look for a wm, but to expand their minds and experience something different than the same ole same old.

The next missed opportunity was the recent World Cup in South Africa. Admittedly, one had access to sports bars and venues that displayed the games for global fans and sisters represented in some, but being there in person would have been great!

I shudder to think of how many sisters could have met their soul mates at these venues. But it is not enough just to go, you need your game plan and you need to be on top of it.

Know What They Know

By all means, when and if you decide to try something different, research and learn a little about the venue. If you are going to show up at a curling or snowboarding competition, know something about the sport. This goes for any time you want to go where they go. Know what they know. Get your passports ready and let the vetting begin!

*Excerpted from the upcoming book Go Where They Go, Know What They Know by Lorraine Spencer. Spencer is a former magistrate for the Commonwealth of Virginia, but spends her time as a stay-at- home mom, caring for her family and writing.

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