I already know that this post is going to be greeted with outrage, and even that is predictable because we black folks are really, really good at pointing out when others do us wrong, but glaringly silent when we do wrong to one another.
I mean, how can anyone outside of the black community take us seriously if we cry and moan when others do evil while we excuse and dismiss what happens right in our own homes?
A few days ago my YouTube channel was spammed with black people asking me to acknowledge and make commentary on the horrendous and evil attack on Nia Wilson, a beautiful, 18-year-old black girl who was violently murdered by a deranged white man. I recall someone telling me, “I feel like you should address this. If you’re going to deify white men and tell black women to date them, you have a responsibility to discuss this.”
So I decided to investigate the killing. The more I investigated, the more confused I got. I am an advocate of black women expanding their options to men of all race, so…how was this homicide even remotely related to swirling?
Was Nia dating the man who killed her?
Was the man who killed her interested in her romantically?
Did Nia know this man at all?
So…why did my critics want me to discuss it, but only to use it to somehow be a cautionary tale to keep away from white men in general because you never know when one might slash your throat?
If that was the “lesson” they wanted me to tell, I’m afraid that dog don’t hunt. The truth of the matter is, black women are 4.4 times more likely to be MURDERED by domestic violence than ANY OTHER race of women, even accounting for the 13% ratio of the black population. Black women are MORE in DANGER of being killed by the very people who look like them than random, evil white men, and that is the truth.
But to bring that fact to their attention is to invite ire and outrage, as evidenced by the likes/dislikes in the video below and the copious distribution of names they called me–mainly bedwench and coon.
We simply do NOT want to acknowledge what is going on in our communities and give tremendous energy towards outsiders who do wrong to us.
Why is that? I believe it is because it is much easier to unite against an outside enemy than the enemy within. And it is that inclination in our community that allows evil to fester and flourish more than any other community. We have the highest out-of-wedlock rate. Highest divorce rates. Lowest marriage rates, High rates of high HIV and herpes transmission with black women who only have 2 to 4 partners compared to white women who don’t become at risk until they have 10 or more partners. We have high incarceration rates and high school drop out rates. I could go on, but I don’t feel like being suicidal at the moment.
Why don’t I ever get trolled by the black community to discuss this?
Brooklyn woman dies from being stabbed in neck by boyfriend — more than a year after attack
Or this…Woman stabbed to death by husband previously convicted of murder
Or this…Suspect In Queens Nurse’s Death Found Holding Another Woman Captive In L.A. Hotel
But…but…but…white people tho!!!!
My critics will be quick to blame ALL OF THE ABOVE on white supremacy, and give little or no acknowledgment of what we as a community do that makes it so easy for us to fall prey to these negative statistics. It’s like we are all like infants, looking to blame others and never look to self. What example are we giving to our kids? That no personal responsibility is necessary because white supremacy is…well…supreme?
Now…am I saying that racism and discrimination don’t exist? Of course not. I have been the recipient of the ugly words and treatment of bigots. But you know what? I have gotten MORE love, help, encouragement, hookups, opportunities by that same group of people that by far outweigh the bad.
Family (that’s what we’re calling each other now, but I know a lot of you hate my guts), what is so wrong with taking the SAME energy we give when outsiders do us wrong and use it to tackle the ills we do to each other instead of constantly making excuses? The world is understandably getting exhausted with our whining when they see, plain as day, the horrors we do to each other and wave off like flies on the chicken.
Oh…was that racist?
Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog.