LITTLE GIRL LOST
“Hey Deja, you want to play a game?”
“Sure,” Deja said, with her voice full of excitement.
As Norman and Deja walked through the house, Deja noticed that Norman had his shirt off, but she didn’t think anything of it. She walked with him, holding his trusting hand, from the family room down the small hallway, up the stairs to his bedroom feeling a little special that he wants to play a game with her.
“Lie down on the bed,” he instructed. She did as he asked.
“Close your eyes.”
His voice sounded a little different, Deja thought. Again, she did as he said. Not a second after Deja had her eyes closed, she felt Norman climb on top of her.
What is he doing? What is he doing? I don’t like this… Deja thought. She didn’t understand what his body was doing when he got on top of her.
“Norman, stop. NORMAN, STOP! NORMAN, PLEASE STOP!”
Deja pleaded in vain. She didn’t understand exactly what had happened to her but by the time he got off of her, Deja knew that what had just taken place was completely wrong. That one instance made her feel like a completely different person. As the tears fell from her eyes she felt a part of her slip away. A part that was lost forever, and never coming back.
It was very easy for Norman to molest Deja continuously for months. He was the son of her father’s best friend, Nicholas Mitchell, who had recently moved into their neighborhood with his wife Karen and youngest son Norman. There oldest son Nicholas Jr. had recently graduated from college and moved to Washington D.C. to start his career as a lawyer. Shortly after the Mitchell’s moved, Mrs. Young took a part-time job and with Deja being ten years old and an only child, her parents thought that she was to young to come home to a empty house by herself. Mr. Young also worked a second job, so they wanted someone to look after her when she came home from school. That’s where The Mitchell’s son came in. Norman Mitchell’s family only lived a few blocks from Deja’s school. Both of Norman’s parents worked too, but when they were asked if Norman, a senior in high school, would agree to pick Deja up from school and let her stay at their house until her mother came to pick her up, everyone agreed.
Deja had no problem with that at the beginning. Norman seemed nice when they first met and Deja noticed that he would go out of his way to play with her when the familes got together for a visit. But not long after Norman started picking her up from school, things changed for the worse.
Deja was molested repeatedly off and on for about four months. She never told anyone because Norman had a hold on her. One day when Norman picked Deja up from school, he heard her curse at a boy in her class. Not caring when Deja tried to explain that the boy had been teasing her for the last couple of days and ‘go to hell’ just came out wasn’t the issue. The issue was she cursed and that was a big ‘no, no.’ Norman observed that Deja’s parents were a no nonsense sort of people and expected there daughter to behave and act accordingly. Mind your manners, do your best in school and don’t give your teachers or anyone in authority any trouble, where the words that Norman heard repeated to Deja every time he was around her. Basically she was being raised to be a good girl. A good girl, who would do as she was told by her elders or even a older teenager. A good girl who would not talk back, no matter what the circumstances were. In Norman’s perverted mind he saw Deja as an opportunity to take full advantage of. And take advantage he did.
Norman remembered overhearing a conversation that Mrs.Young, had with Mrs. Mitchell about Deja saying a curse word to her cousin. Her mother emphasize how she tore her up from the floor up to make it clear that she didn’t want her daughter speaking like that to anyone, ever again. That’s not the type of girl she was raising. Norman reminded Deja of that beating and that in order for him not to tell, she would have to do everything that he said to do. Norman saw the terror in Deja’s eyes if he told her mother what she had said. He even got a kick out of it because he knew he could have complete control of her. Yelling at her for something she was already beaten once for was one thing Deja feared. Another beating on top of that was even more terrifying to her. So, Norman won without a fight. One bad word, a malicious minded neighbor and a little bit of blackmail all on a ten year old shoulders. Norman was her real live monster.
During that time Deja was an emotional roller coaster. She spent many sleepless nights in bed wondering if Norman was going to ‘bother her’ the next time she went to his house. She knew what Norman was doing to her was wrong, but she didn’t know or fully understand how wrong. All she knew was that she had no control over her own body and how awful she felt every time he laid down on her. Deja would get sick to her stomach on the days she had to go to Norman’s house and even sicker days after she was there and if he violated that day. Norman was so mean; sometimes he would torment her on those days and have her wondering the whole time she was at his house if he would ‘bother her’ that day or not. Sometimes, he wouldn’t but he would make her think that he would. Other days he did molest her, no matter how hard she cried. Her grades were up and down and her teacher called home and asked Mrs.Young what was wrong with Deja because not a week would go by without Deja asking to go to the bathroom complaining she felt sick to her stomach. Her mother thought it was due to her and Deja’s father arguing all the time. Not a week would go by without Deja’s parents arguing about any and everything. Mrs. Young didn’t let on to the teacher how bad things were at home but inside she felt that maybe the arguing was affecting Deja. She couldn’t blame Deja if it was because it was starting to affect her as well. Arguing, unloving parents and a trusted family friend who would molest her at his leisure was a lot for a ten year old to handle.
Finally, by God’s grace during Christmas break, Deja was told by her mother that she didn’t have to go to Norman’s house any more. Norman had graduated from high school a semester early and had signed up to join the army. Deja also had made friends with The Linden sisters, who had recently moved to her block. So she was able to go to their home after school and wait for her mother to pick her up from there. Even if Norman wasn’t going away, these girls would be her escape from him as well as getting away from her arguing parents. Deja thought that her problems dealing with Norman were over and her life would be better. And for a while it was. Her grades went up and stayed up. She didn’t feel sick to her stomach any more. She didn’t have to worry about Norman at all because he was gone. Even with arguing parents, life as she knew it, was good once again.
It wasn’t until a year and a half later, when Deja and her Mom had their first ‘sex talk’ that she fully realized how much Norman had violated her body. Her parents didn’t think it was necessary for her to know about sex before then. It wasn’t something that was discussed. She didn’t bother to tell either one of her parents about what had happened to her because she was so devastated when her mother explained what sex was all about. She just cried all night long in silence, asking herself over and over again why would Norman do that to her. Did I do something to make him do that? That’s all she kept thinking, all night while she cried her heart out. It was devastating to her and made her look at sex very negatively. She thought that sex was dirty, nasty, filthy and disgusting. After all, that’s how Norman made her feel every time he ‘bothered her.’ It made her ashamed of her body. She had developed a lot faster then other girls her age. Is it my body that madeNorman bother me? she thought. Deja’s whole view of sex and making love was totally distorted and it made her not want any man to make love to her. She figured if she allowed herself to have sex with any man, she would be allowing him to do the same thing that Norman did to her. And of course, if she wasn’t going to have sex, there was no need to get married. With what Norman had done to her and living with parents that were in a bad marriage, her whole idea of love and marriage and everything that goes along with it, was destroyed. She firmly made herself believe that sex was dirty and nasty and she would never let any man make her feel the same way Norman did. Never again.
Back Cover Summary:
JUST BE A GOOD GIRL
As a ten year old girl, Deja Young goes through a dehumanizing ordeal with someone new that recently entered her life. Dealing with this ordeal along with serious family issues, made growing up for Deja a lot harder than it had to be. But Deja does grow up with traumatizing memories that haunts her like a ghost.
Deja flows through what she believes to be a normal pattern of life, although she wishes one thing would change. Deja wishes that she would meet that special someone who would accept her completely for who she is. As scared and doubtful as she is, Deja is waiting for her “Knight in Shining Armor” and to her surprise eventually finds him. However, she doesn’t trust her “Knight”, her faith, or even herself to know what true love really is.
Want more? Purchase the full manuscript here.
**What to be consider for our newest feature, “Morning Coffee Read?” Send over a sample chapter and artwork to [email protected]