Question of the Week

Question of the Week: Do I Have to Erase All My Blackness to Date Rainbeaus Online?

With all the hullabaloo, the Question of the Week was push back a bit, but I’m glad of it, because it gave me time in which to ponder and chew my cud. I’ll add my two shekels in bold brackets, and YOU add yours in the “Comments” section. Umkay? See…teamwork. There is no “I” in it.

Hi, I was wondering if you could ask the crew about tips on how to give the green light to rainbeaus online sites like (Okay Cupid) and (Plenty of Fish) where you can’t pick what groups you are open to. [No race filtering? Is that bad? My first thought is…no.]

I know this is stereotypical, but bare with me, lol…But physically I have the look that IR rainbeaus are supposed to be drawn to..slim, natural hair, and dark, which should give them a clue that I would be open to IR online. [Why would it? Is there a book called, “The Official Black Girl Clues and Secret Handshake Book for Snagging Rainbeaus?” But I will concede that yes; you sound like to type of girl I’m seeing booing up with all the white dudes in my neck of the woods.]

I’m also college educated and state on my profile many of the countries I have visited in Europe, Central America, and Africa. Other clues I try to give: musical interests (my favorite pop and rock groups and house music); some of the non-black tv shows, movies and books that I like. I state how I love learning about different cultures and I love food from different cultures as well. Heck, my screen name is in French. I even had a picture of me with one of my wm friends once. Plus, I’m on a majority (white) online site. [Stop there. Take down all pictures of you with ANY guy. Men are visual, and your potential prince wants to imagine himself standing next to you, not Random Dude. Replace him with a non-black girlfriend of yours.]

What other signs do you need that I’m open to IR? [I know this is still in the experimental stages, but I’m thinking a forehead tattoo that says “I Swirl” on it.]

Yet….I get 100s of views from IR men, but they won’t message me even after I view their page back. What gives? What are IR rainbeaus looking for on these online sites as the green light to message BW?? What other clues do you need? Do I have to change my screen name to idatewm? [Please gawd, no don’t] Do I have to literally state in my page that I’m open to all? Someone suggested I remove all of my interests that are black/African related. [What the cuss? You are hereby commanded to take no further advice from this person.]I hope that’s not true. [GOOD NEWS! It’s not even CLOSE to being true.]Though most of my interests can be considered “non-black” (like outdoor activities), I do have some black interests like African art, history, food, and watching Fresh Prince of Bel air. Are these interests turning them away?



Can I find a rainbeau who likes me for me online?


Let me answer your question with a question. Would you be interested in a white guy who said he’s a roadie for Lil Wayne, doesn’t even know where Bel Air is, goes to Eddie Long’s church, eats chitterlings every New Year’s Day, and take hip hop classes in his spare time?


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