I got this question from Tiara and I’m sure there’s gonna be A LOT of opinions on this one. I’ll give you mine, whether you like or not, because it’s my party and I can pontificate if I want to.

I am a huge fan of your site. Keep up the good work! I have a dating question that I’m not sure if your blog has addressed or not. I am a 28 y/o black female and I have been dating outside my race since I was 15. I prefer White men but I am open to all races, however, I’m not usually attracted to Black men. I am plus size and I have had friends tell me it will be hard to find a White man in my age group because White men, especially those under 40, don’t like big women. Do you find this is true? I definitely have a hard time meeting White men and I’m usually single. I’m beginning to think my friends are right. Where are the White men who don’t mind a big beautiful black woman? I would love to hear your thoughts.

Tiara, I’m going to start with some tough love. Black women are probably the most uniquely beautiful on the planet, but extra weight distorts our features–from our faces to our feet. This is a HUGE (no pun intended) snag in the interracial dating game, because most rainbeaus prefer fit women. Not to sound like your mom or anything, but you need to take control of your weight for yourself first, because it’s really, really hard to concentrate on your love life if you’ve just had a stroke.

But then flip it. Are you more attracted to fit and muscular white guys? If so, most of those guys are into hitting gym, doing outdoor sport and a allergic to eating chips on the couch at 1AM. You want to get it? You have to give it.

That said, not EVERY guy likes a size four. There’s someone for everyone. But you increase your chances of meeting your choice of SOMEONES if you allow your true features to come through.

Por ejemplo:

Jill Scott before. She's undoubtably beautiful, but...

After Jill lost the weight, I’m like DAYUM!! and I’m a chick. I can only imagine the fantasies men are conjuring up about her now:

Note her waist to hip ratio--she's a hourglass, and size 2 or 14, if you have a waist, men will pant for you. It's in their genetic makeup.

Fit and curvy is LUCIOUS, Tiara. You can be plus-sized, but you turn more heads when you a plus-size Jill Scott or Marilyn Monroe.

In the meantime while you’re getting fit, look your best. I met the curvy and very beautiful, blogger of The Curvy Fashionista, and her blog is all about looking your absolute plus-sized best. Check her out.

…Then give me 20.