Question of the Week

Question of the Week: I’ve just had a terrible experience with my first white guy!

This one is a doozy. No doubt the blogger who has a creepy obsession with me, along with his merry band of idiots, will have something to say about this, because he has not one creative bone in his body and simply lies in wait to leech off me, my ideas, and my sources.

That Mr. Queen, is what you call A HACK. I see you looking at me looking at you looking at me.

This here is a cautionary tale about vetting all men, which lines up nicely with what we’ve been discussing over the last week. A few lessons that should have been heeded:

–Find out if the man pursuing you is married.

–If you decide to have sex, use protection. Two dozen forms of birth control–choose one. Just one.

–If you get pregnant by such a loser, consider what the future may be like for you and your unborn, and then take the necessary steps, whatever they may be.

–Think twice about dating someone at your workplace. And if you do, observe, observe, observe. If he is a douche to others, he WILL be a douche to you.

–If you have a history of bad relationships, try to identify the triggers that create an attraction for you. Many times, we are attracted by something we find familiar–even if it’s dysfunctional. Don’t take the same template you had when dating intra-racially, inter-racially.

Ladies, time for the kick-arse comments to begin. Drop some knowledge on Karla.

Hi there,

My names is “K” and I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your blog. However I’ve just had a terrible experience with my first white guy! I work in the medical field and I started with my present employer 3/2010. Right away I noticed this guy who I thought was really cute but I always had the don’t shit where you eat mentality. After months of heavy flirting and a few Facebook messages we decided to go out. I fell head over heels for this guy. I’m 35 and he’s 45, he was everything that I thought a man should be. However, after a month of seeing each other he text me and said that he didn’t want to see me anymore, no explanation just that I needed to get over it and move on. I was almost to that point until I realized that I was pregnant. He said that I needed to have an abortion that it wasn’t a good idea since I’m now a Pre-med student and it would totally destroy my life. He wormed his way back into my life and we started to have sex again. I became so sick with the pregnancy that I had to be hospitalized. The day that I was discharged he had promised to come over but never did. As sick as I was I drove to his apartment that night and saw a car pull up with a female driver and him sitting in the passenger seat. I was devastated. He told me that he had just met her on and they were dating. My heart broke! Stupid me kept seeing him for a couple of weeks after that, I remembered that he had told me that the ladies name was Laurie so I looked through his phone while he was asleep and found her number. The next day I started to cramp really badly and I had a miscarriage.My family contacted this jerk and he refused to come see me. Everyday it was another excuse, I was heart broken. Last week he told me that he was going to a conference, come to find out he went away with Laurie for a few days. I decided to give Laurie a call and I told her who I was and she told me that she had met him in June on match, (we started seeing each other in July) she also said that she had met his family and his son (he’s divorced with a kid) who tells her that he loves her. She was heart broken when I told her, I felt badly! Not to be out done he told her that I was obsessed with him and that I stalked him and I was never pregnant with his child. She believed him so I sent her pictures of myself in his apartment and pictures of him in bed asleep, she was shocked! I don’t know if their still together but I assume that they are. Plus I don’t care! I lost my husband in a drunk driver accident four years ago and this was the first relationship that I’ve had since that ordeal. I’m so hurt, I’ve been on FMLA for two months and I finally returned to work yesterday. Can you believe that this guy told everyone that I had a nervous breakdown because he didn’t want me and that I was committed to a psychiatric facility? So when I returned yesterday and I looked great you could hear a pin drop. Everyone was speechless and shocked! My question is how do I handle this? I’ve started to interview at other hospitals and I’m just waiting to hear back. I’m a nurse and he’s a respiratory therapist, so our paths have to cross at work. Yesterday was so difficult because he acted so smug and confident like I was the lunatic who was obsessed with him. I’ve showed a few friends the pics of him and they now believe that we did indeed have a relationship! God help me! Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated, feel free to post this the responses from others will probably help me to heal. Addendum: His ex wife reached out to me on Facebook and told me that she left him after a year of marriage because he’s an alcoholic and he use to cheat on her. She states that I’ve dodged a bullet and shouldn’t feel badly about losing the baby because it was a blessing in disguise. He’s about to file for bankruptcy because the house that they lived in was foreclosed on. I know this to be true because he asked me to give him $20,000 from the settlement that I received from my husband’s death. My main concern is how do I deal with this at work? Please help me?

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