Question of the Week

Question of the Week: “What Do the Lonely Do At Christmas?”

Dear Christelyn,

What do the lonely do at Christmas? Or anytime of the year for that matter. Hey, I feel embarrassed writing and spilling my guts but I don’t know what to do. I message [a BB&W fan page member], and he responded right away. Now understand this is the first nibble I have had in 4 -5 years so I feel all tingly inside but proceed with caution. He tells me he likes me after some quick banter. He has already assessed that I have brains and I’m funny. We know very little about each other than the fact that we are two years apart in age and have daughters the same age. I am a lady and expect to be treated as such and always keep conversation on 1st base for lack of a better term. He flirts harmlessly and I flirt back with the understanding that I don’t play that and am not an easy catch. Well, dummy me gets caught up in the flirtatous talk and let’s just say, I am one conversation away from being online cyber sex for this guy to get his chestnuts off or at least feed his fantasies. He says he can tell I’m a “good girl” but he pushes those buttons and I guess my desperate need for attention clouded my judgement and I did not get a grip on the reigns of conversation and put the breaks on when I should have. After this, I just have a really bad taste in my mouth and don’t think this will go anywhere and it probably won’t. He’s [x] miles away. I feel like a kid not knowing what to do and feeling like I have done something horribly wrong. Do I just block him and call it a day? I can’t hide from Facebook. I don’t know what to think. Again, I’m sorry for dumping on you but because I know it’s not your problem.


Aw, first I want you to know there are a lot of women in your place right now. Second, understand that it is extremely easy to fast-forward the sexual aspect of attraction because of the cloaked anonymity of this platform. But please don’t be overcome with guilt–internet sex TALK is not the same as the act. You didn’t have a one night stand with the guy, you had a steamy conversation, and nobody got pregnant or caught a disease from that!

At this point, I think it’s a lesson you can learn and move on. There’s nothing wrong with talking sexy on Facebook, but like in real life, it’s best not to show your cards too early. On the bright side, a good thing is to know you still “got it!” You’re attractive and capable of establishing a mutual attraction that may, perhaps, grow into something more in time. Remember, men are very visual and sexual creatures. But to know this is to have power. Don’t give that power away too soon.

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