Sweet Jesus, if I covered my eyes I’d swear she was black. Hmmm…
So much to say. Will keep it to myself for now, but would love for you ladies to weigh in. I would say to the young lady, there are PLENTY of black women who have been treated the same way that you have. There is a segment of men who see the advantage of their piddly position often seek others to victimize that crosses racial lines.
I have a close girlfriend, white, who is Harvard-educated and worked in finance, but out of all the men she has dated, she was abused and exploited the most by black men. “They (my exes) treated me horribly–so emotionally abusive,” she told me.
There’s some simpatico characteristics between both black and white women that makes this situation even possible. Here’s what “Becky” and “LaToya” are doing WRONG: You just want someone because of the LEVEL OF MELANIN in their skin and will SACRIFICE ALL just to say they “got a brotha.”
Same goes if black women are looking for any old non-black man, because crazy, dumb and stupid comes in all flavors, and as my BWE betters have pounded upon you, VET, VET, VET.
Advice from Dr. Kenneth Ryan, author of Finding Your Prince in a Sea of Toads: How to Find a Quality Guy Without Getting Your Heart Shredded:
1. A “prince” has more good qualities than he has bad. “Princes can be any IQ, athletic status, rich, poor, talkative, quiet, extroverted, introverted, cute, homely, a geek, a Grecian god, bald, fat, skinny, funny or serious (Notice how the author makes no mention of melanin?)
But let’s be realistic–quality is not equal if he robs banks but leaves the toilet seat down. That why the follow up is key:
2. The primary traits of a WINNER are INTEGRITY and a MORAL COMPASS. So you have to ask yourself, is my man showing integrity when he’s taken your car all day and you found some used condom packets under the bucket seats, but swears he’s been walking up and down Wall Street in hopes that he might get lucky and someone will outright give him a corner office, bonuses and a chance for making partner with little more on his resume than “skreet smarts.”
3. A prince understands that his mission is to protect his princess at all costs. He will sacrifice his life for the good of the girl. (I’ll admit this is a bit Don Quixote, but yeah; he should be kind of like that.)
A man is of no worth to you if he’s dropping you off at work in your car with a full tank of gas with no reasonable accounting for it, is not gainfully employed because he’s trying to get his hustle together, and he just needs YOU to believe in him, because your belief in his success is the magic fairy dust that keeps the SMOKE in your eye, or up somewhere else.
Becky, LaToya, please wake up and smell the dead rat.