I have NO idea who this (single-but-not-quite eligible) Chinese medical doctor is, wouldn’t be able to point him out in a Beijing minute, but I trust this guy with my car and my house for the weekend.
Law Wanxi found BB&W through a friend, and his comments (along with the our collective) have been OFF THE HEEZEE! If you’re not familiar to his references, he’s responding to “K” the source of this week’s “Question“
This one was so golden, I promised to make a post about it. Since I have no idea what he actually looks like, the picture in the slide show is of who he wishes he did.
Law Wanxi’s Rules for Vetting Men
Hereâ€™s the advice from the worldâ€™s youngest elderly Chinese man, for what itâ€™s worth. Iâ€™ll use a rules/steps format for simplicityâ€™s sake.
1. No sex before marriage. Yes, I know, and Mia from above can tell you just how unpopular a stance that one is. Let it be known, preferably BEFORE the first date. It filters out a lot of losers right away. And donâ€™t relent. No, means No.
3. Three?? Yeah, because Rule 1 is also Rule 2. Anyway, no children until youâ€™ve been married at least two years. It gives you a chance to â€œpull the D ringâ€ should you find yourself hitched to a loser. This also gives you an opportunity to save money, work on your careers and have some time together before the kids arrive to change your lives forever. It makes it more possible to just possibly live your life like a happy-family Wells Fargo Mandarin language commercial. https://youtu.be/cdhF-JffctQ Some may find the vid offensive, but itâ€™s an accurate portrayal of MY culture. Your cultural mileage may vary. [If I could look like that guy at 55, I’d change banks in a heartbeat, LOL]
4. Take this latest event as a chance to regroup and rebuild. Take a year off from the total hell of dating to get to know yourself and settle into your new job. In the end, you have to live with you for the rest of your life. You need to love yourself before you can love anyone else. Some time with yourself may help you begin to like yourself enough to not mess up your life.
5. Continue the therapy process and, from what very little I know about psychotherapy from med school, it is a process. Grief takes time and kick to the curb anyone, friends AND family, who says otherwise. You should also add in some sort of work regarding choices in men and what is up in your head that makes mutts and curs attractive to you. In the meantime, if something looks good, run. Go home, lock the door, etc.
6. You wouldnâ€™t buy a car with a dead engine or a house with no roof and a flooded basement, would you? So, donâ€™t settle for, or even go near a fixer-upper man. In 100% of cases observed, no woman can change a man for the better. Canâ€™t be done, because youâ€™re dealing with the male, for lack of a better term, â€œmindâ€ and we men generally all think weâ€™re just so darned perfect with no need to change. There are good men out there, but itâ€™s a small number. The good news is that very few women actually want them [no matter what they say] so once one is found, theyâ€™re relatively easy to land. The thing is, they donâ€™t stand out glaringly, so theyâ€™re easy to overlook. Look for bruises on the upper body from being elbowed aside by women rushing for the punks, jerks and players theyâ€™ve been brainwashed by the media and predominant culture to believe they must have.
7. Sorry about the White guy, but every group has its DBR psychos, jerks, and unashamed unapologetic users of decent women. Asians arenâ€™t any better, trust me on that one, especially the young ones racing toward so-called â€œAmericanâ€ Values.
8. You might want to re-think that whole med school thing. At 35, youâ€™re borderline at being too old to get in and the med school admission gods are not smiling upon Black women as they did, say, ten years ago. Plenty of Black women applicants is the reason. Not as bad as Asians [yet] but give it a few years and Black Women will be the new â€œModel Minorityâ€. Anyway, add the four years of med school, four/five/six years as a resident, a few years of practice startup and pretty soon youâ€™re 50. Also, most of the female physicians I know are not married and probably never will be. If you have a BSN, then ARNP is probably a better choice. Example; I turn 35 next year and Iâ€™m still in grad school with no ability to even think about dating or marriage for the next 20 months. Pretty much past my â€œsell-by dateâ€ at that point, as a Korean dental school student very recently pointed out to me.
You need to rest up, get strong, work on your weaknesses, build on your strengths and develop a life plan, only part of which includes finding the perfect [for you] man to marry. I wish you the most luck and hope possible in your search.