Written by Nicole
One of the most aggravating things that I see black women do is defending predators at any cost. This is not unique to us, but we really take it up to eleven.
The inspiration for this blog post, sadly, is R. Kelly. As has been said by many before me, noted abuser R. Kelly does not need any black woman’s labor. And any woman (or man too) in your circle who still supports him needs to be cut out of your life. It’s just that simple. And yet, a small rally calling for justice for Sir Piss-A-Lot was held in Chicago just last week. Last week, as Coronavirus continues to rampage its way along. In Chicago, where gun violence claims so many lives on a weekly basis, and the shooters evade justice to shoot another day.
I heave a deep sigh when I see these things -unfortunately black women do not think ahead, of how championing for abusers in our community makes us look completely unhinged.
However, the point of this post is not to rehash the gory details of the disgraced convict’s case. In fact, I think I can say with a fair amount of certainty that the primary audience for this website does not give a single damn about him. But the fact that he still has supporters, whether publicly like the rally in Chicago, or privately on music-streaming services or in their unspoken beliefs, speaks to a larger issue.
Let’s take Robert out the picture – after all, the point I am trying to make is bigger than one famous pervert. A frequently quoted statistic is that 40-60% of black girls are molested before turning 18. Because of the No Snitching rule deeply engrained in the community, I am sure that number is significantly higher, just not reported. One reason it is so high is because a concerning number of black women put the abuser ahead of the victim, and will lie for him, cover for him, and condemn his victim. We’ve heard it all before – the victim was fast, she seduced him, she knew what she was doing. No little girl, from birth to 18, is capable of seducing a grown ass male. They are children, and the fact that people will run with that foul line of logic rather than have the abuser drawn and quartered for his crimes, is why these types of women are dangerous.
Women like Deb and the ones holding the sign in the cover photo are the type of women you might entrust your child in their care (not knowing their treacherous tendencies), and when you arrive to pick them up, some strange dude you’ve never seen in your life is home alone with them. Far too often we hear the stories of children, left at home with a “boyfriend”, a “fiancé” or “step-daddy”, only to turn up with strange stains in their underwear, or missing, or dead.
Black women who let these behaviors slide lack discernment – the cloud of being related to a predator, or a friend of one, or a fan of one, or in love with one, will make them side with them over you every time. No child in her vicinity is safe, not even her own, as she will bring them to the altar to sacrifice their innocence. And if you call this out, you will somehow be painted as the bad guy. This is all the more reason to sever ties with women like this.
The trafficking of black women remains astronomically high. It’s been reported that 64,000 black women and girls are missing, with none of the media fanfare. Black women who disregard abusive people in their circle will happily offer you up too. On social media, stories have circulated about a woman or group of women who were set up by another woman to be trafficked. If a woman can find a way to excuse-make for egregious behaviors, she can make the leap to offer your head on a platter too. All it takes is one comment she deems unacceptable, or the belief that you are “better than” to seek to destroy you.
For all the ills that we (rightfully) attribute to the male half of the population, black women are very complicit in many issues that plague our community. I am not absolving predatory males of their harmful abuses, merely acknowledging our own despicable role in it. As Kendall and many other black women have said, it’s happening on our watch. However, there is a solution. If anyone in your circle exhibits predator-coddling behavior, you need to cut them off, and quickly. The only person who truly has your best interests at heart is you, and acting in your best interests may mean cutting off that high school bestie, your sorority sister, or even your own mother. It could literally be a matter of life and death.
Disclaimer: This blog was written by me, Nicole, and my ideas are not necessarily reflective of Christelyn Karazin or other writers on this platform.