I’ve gotten about a dozen messages about a new interracial dating book in circulation. Northwestern University professor, Cheryl Judice, author of Interracial Relationships with Black Women and White Men, is hoping her book will inspire black women to think differently about dating. An article published in the Chicago Tribune has everyone abuzz–what a scandal, right? I mean, in 2018 black women still need a push to date out.
To date, interracial dating books for black women are by far the most voluminous of any other group. As one of the authors on that list, I think it’s safe to say that we’re not in it for the money. By far, the relationship books urging black women to think like men and act like ladies while lowing their standards fly off the shelves much faster than asking black women to start thinking what has previously been unthinkable.
While there has clearly been an uptick in interracial marriage (from 9% to 12% to make a 33% increase) the fears of tribal shame, the “fetish boogeyman,” faulty understanding of healthy, functional relationships work hard against black women feeling fully free to pursue romantic possibilities outside of the community. D.L. Hugley, black comedian who can barely stand the sight of black women dropped the link on his Facebook fan page and the typical responses from black women followed.
Kendall St. Charles and I addressed this issue today. You won’t want to miss this.
So why did Judice write this book? “They’re like, ‘Why are you putting that out there?’ Because I’m tired of people being so miserable, that’s why.”
Hmmm…I’ve gotten that question too. There is a contingent of black people who feel like this discussion should not even be had. But like me, I want black women to have a chance to marry, have children with a willing and present partner, and live lives of ease without constant struggle. White men aren’t the answer, but choice is.
The power to CHOOSE is the answer. Stop allowing people to find ways to keep you from exercising your options and showing you ALL the choices available.
How many books will need to be published before black women take that leap?