Question of the Week

QOTW: “I’m a 26-Year-Old Virgin”

Embarrassed young man
Hello, Mrs. K, I’m Chris (please don’t say my name, say something like “random white guy” or whatever, instead, please? lol That’s if you decide to use my question/letter thing) and I find myself in a particularly strange and difficult situation, regarding interracial dating. I’ve been a fan of your series on youtube for a while now, and I’ve been interested in black women since I can remember.
Anyway, I’m a white guy living in Southwestern Illinois and I strongly prefer black women to any other. Nothing against white, asian, hispanic, etc.. I just prefer/want a black woman. I do like darker skinned black women better, but that’s not a necessity, and I really hope what I said doesn’t come across as rude or anything, it’s not supposed to be. Anyway, I also feel more drawn to older women because of their (usual anyway) higher levels of maturity, but anyway, my problem is that I’m a virgin at 26 (true story), and I’ve only had one girlfriend, and that was way back in 2008 for like 3 months, so.. I have absolutely no idea how to go about talking to a black woman, and I don’t want to accidentally offend culturally, set a bad first impression, come off as a creep, or anything. I’m trying to “fake it till I make it” but it’s not easy when you continually get turned down by potential partners.
I don’t know, I’m just tired of being without a partner. I’m not into the bar scene, etc.. I just want a woman to date, love, cherish, have fun with, and y’know, basically be happy with, maybe have kids together but nothing too crazy. It doesn’t help, though, that at least part of my family (and I hate saying this) is racist and seems to enjoy saying they “hate *censored*” and “*censored* lovers*” I don’t know, it’s really toxic and I don’t want anything to do with it. I can’t really have a girlfriend if she’s gotta be subjected to that kind of stuff just because she’s black. I just feel hopeless in this situation. On one hand, I don’t have any idea how to talk to a black woman (I know you guys’re just like anyone else but it’s the different background thing, as I’m sure you know all too well), and on the other hand, I don’t really want my potential girlfriend to hear certain family members calling her things just because of her skin color. I feel trapped, on all sides.
Advice would be greatly appreciated.
PS. Keep up the good work, I love the show.
So I asked this young man why he might be a 26-year-old virgin (not that there’s anything wrong with that), and he said he was mostly just shy. I asked him for a picture to make sure he didn’t live under a bridge, and he’s not. He’s actually kinda cute. But I’m not going to post his picture, because some folks (not naming names) haven’t always been very kind when men reach out to me like this.
Here’s my advice:
As far as being a virgin: Dude, embrace your virginhood. Sex is not rocket science, and you don’t need to have a string of lovers to figure out how one part fits into another. In fact, some women actually LOVE the idea of dating a genuine guy who hasn’t run through a bunch of women. You’re a rare bird, sir. You haven’t had your heart smashed yet to jade you towards a woman who could potentially be your wife. And trust me–when you find the right person, she’s going to be lucky as heck, because she will have a very, um…eager and enthusiastic lover.
About your shyness: That’s okay, because we’re in the age of technology, and you can meet and mingle with women SPECIFIC to your preference on sites like, a site I happen to be the brand ambassador for. I’ve known multitudes of shy guys who’ve joined the site and found their wives. I believe in you, bro. But here’s a tip–keep your search relatively local, because I don’t want you getting so comfortable doing the online thing that you don’t actually have a real, live relationship.
As for your racist family members: It’s going to be your job as a MAN to protect your woman from toxic people like that. No excuses. You need to shut that shit down. You need to tell your family BEFOREHAND that they are to be RESPECTFUL to your girlfriend, and if that isn’t possible, they DON’T get to meet her, and they don’t get to be ANYWHERE you and your girlfriend are together. Anything less, and she should dump you. Protect your woman, always. You love her, fight for her honor.
Good luck, and you have such an open, sweet face. But you need better photos if you’re going to find your wife. šŸ˜‰
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