Question of the Week

Question of the Week: “Help! I Dont Like What I See in the Mirror!”

Got this note, and it really struck a nerve with me…

I wanted to write this message earlier, but I was too emotional. I am a huge fan of the concept of “black women’s self-improvement” and I love fashion, beauty and all of the stereotypically girly things.

I have often struggled with feeling bad about how I look. I understand the importance of improving what’s on the outside, but I need help with how to help my inner self. I am talking to a counselor and a psychologist, so I am trying not to be in victim mode. I remember you mentioning how you had to learn to accept your beauty in one of your past videos and I was wondering how you started and went through that process.

It’s really hard to admit this and I feel awkward writing it. I just don’t feel good about what I see when I look into the mirror and it’s causing major emotional problems. (It also doesn’t help that I go to college in “pretty-white-skinny-blonde-girl-ville and I compare myself to the pretty black girls on campus). I would just like a little insight if you or the other BB&W readers could help.

Sorry if this message is disjointed or weird sounding.


BTW, I’m friends with this young girl on Facebook and she’s as cute as can be. She’s a doll.

Her post moved me so much that I put this up on my Facebook wall:

I’m going to share something personal, because I’m going to do a video about it later for a girl who is asking for my help. Did you know I didn’t really think I was beautiful or feel beautiful until someone non-black told me? Not just the men, the women too. My whole life, I was told that my particular brand of looks was not appealing to black men–kinky hair, slight gap in the teeth, dark skin. I was told I could never compete to get a “creme de la creme” IBM. When I married interracially, both black men and women said I only did so because I couldn’t land a decent black man because of how I look. I also was never ever told by either one of my parents I was pretty–ever. You see, where I come from, the only pretty black women are the light-skinned ones. I say all this not to bash anyone, but to just make folks aware…dark girls can be beautiful too. Not bitter, just tough truth telling.


Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog.