Got this note, and it really struck a nerve with me…
I wanted to write this message earlier, but I was too emotional. I am a huge fan of the concept of “black women’s self-improvement” and I love fashion, beauty and all of the stereotypically girly things.
I have often struggled with feeling bad about how I look. I understand the importance of improving what’s on the outside, but I need help with how to help my inner self. I am talking to a counselor and a psychologist, so I am trying not to be in victim mode. I remember you mentioning how you had to learn to accept your beauty in one of your past videos and I was wondering how you started and went through that process.
It’s really hard to admit this and I feel awkward writing it. I just don’t feel good about what I see when I look into the mirror and it’s causing major emotional problems. (It also doesn’t help that I go to college in “pretty-white-skinny-blonde-girl-ville and I compare myself to the pretty black girls on campus). I would just like a little insight if you or the other BB&W readers could help.
Sorry if this message is disjointed or weird sounding.
BTW, I’m friends with this young girl on Facebook and she’s as cute as can be. She’s a doll.
Her post moved me so much that I put this up on my Facebook wall:
I’m going to share something personal, because I’m going to do a video about it later for a girl who is asking for my help. Did you know I didn’t really think I was beautiful or feel beautiful until someone non-black told me? Not just the men, the women too. My whole life, I was told that my particular brand of looks was not appealing to black men–kinky hair, slight gap in the teeth, dark skin. I was told I could never compete to get a “creme de la creme” IBM. When I married interracially, both black men and women said I only did so because I couldn’t land a decent black man because of how I look. I also was never ever told by either one of my parents I was pretty–ever. You see, where I come from, the only pretty black women are the light-skinned ones. I say all this not to bash anyone, but to just make folks aware…dark girls can be beautiful too. Not bitter, just tough truth telling.