Hot Vacation Spots

Get Your Ten-Guy Quota in One Night at The Standard Hotel

Did you get the challenge I posted on our fan page to push yourself to talk to at least 10 new guys a week? Here’s how you can do it in one weekend–if you’re visiting Los Angeles, stay at The Standard.

Guest who stay at The Standard in Downtown Los Angeles or on Sunset Boulevard aren’t staying for the luxurious rooms. In fact, staying in these starkly-decorated, 1970’s minimalist rooms sort of reminds me of a gigantic office cubicle with a bed in the center.


I have to admit, the sheets at this place are like butter. May have been the softest ever. I slept like a dead person but woke up feeling like I’d had a one night stand at some strange man’s bachelor pad who had a penchant for minimalism.


See that glass wall next to the bed? That’s the bathroom shower. So if you’re bunking with someone be sure they’re okay with washing their tush with an audience.



The view from inside the bathroom shower…

What’s Good…

The rooms are so spartan that it actually encourages guests to explore the grounds, which is a MAJOR selling point, especially for singles. The Standard has a rooftop party place to rival even the poshest outdoor patios in Beverly Hills, the Palisades, and Newport Beach combined. And if you’re a people watcher and/or people eater, you’ll get both your eyes and mouth full of some of the most gorgeous commoners and non-commoners all over Los Angeles.


Mercy, mercy….

It’s a great way to get your 10-guy talk quota done in one fell swoop, single ladies, but remember this is L.A., so you’d better be on your “A” game, because your competition will look a little like this…


Now before I go on, I need to tell you how to best enjoy the perks of the hotel. First thing, stay the night and pool your funds between two other girlfriends. With each of you throwing in $100 bucks that $300-a-night room fee is a bit more palatable. Be sure to bring a flattering swimsuit and a fashionable cover-up that can take you through the evening, because the pool and waterbed cabanas are popping during the day and the bar has a DJ so it’s a party. As a guest you’re able to stay all day and see the revolving door of fresh meat. Take a break between 6PM to about 9PM so you can grab some dinner or change clothes if you want, and then get back up there before the night-club rush of folks, because the bouncers in this joint do not play. If it’s crowded they might not even let you up to the rooftop even if you’re a guest, say some folks who’ve stayed there previously.


The bar at the VERY YELLOW “24/7 Restaurant”


But despite the strict security, The Standard’s vintage 1970’s vibe and stunning rooftop views make that bit of inconvenience well worth it.


The Standard’s upper level pool…


The DJ is there breaking the beats at noon when the bar opens.

From where I’m sitting, you’ll have a good view of the pool and too-cool-for-school waterbed cabanas.



And here’s your view, lucky ducks…



The waterbed cabanas–be ready to fight dirty for them. Get there EARLY and plant your stuff.

Other Stuff…

While you’re on the rooftop, go to the patio to your left and enter the beer garden (Biergarten) and ping-pong and Foosball play pen. There, you can sample a ton of beers and then you can much on a giant pretzel.




Just a little bit of gratuitous vanity. Okay; moving along…


Apparently our president has played a bit of ping pong at this joint…


The Staff…

Everybody is very “L.A.” and for those who live here know exactly what I mean. They have this easy-going dude-bro thing going, but they are very helpful and seem to have a good time doing their job. Room service is really good and really quick with a menu with a ton of choices from their 24-hour restaurant that’s not despicably expensive.



The Quirks…

Like I mentioned before, The Standard is vintage ’70s, so get ready to be taken back in time. Check out the old-school organ they keep in the first-floor lobby…


And be sure to look at the signs throughout the property. I love that they don’t take themselves so seriously.


That martini glass translates to, “Hey dude, don’t fall on your drunk ass when you take the stairs to put more money in the parking meter.”

And this mural is in the gym. I mean, does anyone remember naked women’s bicycling???


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