Tiffany Haddish and the Subtle Art of Knowing When to STFU

Written by Nicole J.

Comedienne Tiffany Haddish recently let it be known that she once got so drunk that she had a whoopsie poopsie on herself in an Uber. Shit happens, right?

Unfortunately, not so much. It really bothers me when I see black women partaking in their own degradation. We deal with our likeness and image being torn down on all sides, from black men “representing us” by dressing up in drag and donning ugly makeup and wigs, to rappers calling us every pejorative in the book, to beautiful black actresses being cast as the maid and the slave and the prostitute, all on the global stage. I’m not saying we all should act in Stepford-wife precision, but given the unfortunate reality that the collective of black women are viewed less favorably, it behooves us all to present the best version of ourselves where possible.

Sure, she is a comedienne and she makes her money selling humor. But what is supposed to be funny about being an able-bodied woman having a bowel movement anywhere other than a toilet? No one asked for this, no one wanted this, and no one needed to know this. Accidents happen, especially while intoxicated, and I’m not shaming her about her errant bowels. It’s just that this could have been kept a secret between her and her Uber driver. But in Tiffany’s attempt to be relatable, she sullied her own image.

“She could have just made the story up for poops and giggles (literally)!” some might say.

This is true. Comedians make stuff up all the time for laughs. But she could have made up a story that didn’t make her out to be so gross and unflattering.

It’s one thing to be self-deprecating in your humor, and it’s another thing entirely to present yourself in a poor light.

Black women love to be “real” and “100” and upfront with everything, which are all valuable character traits to have, to a point. Equally important is to know when to be quiet, and unfortunately, this is a lesson Tiffany hasn’t quite mastered yet.

Sometimes it is better to sit in silence and observe rather than open your mouth and make yourself look a fool, no matter who you are.

Follow Christelyn on Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our YouTube channel. And if you want to be a little more about this online dating thing, InterracialDatingCentral is the official dating site for this blog.