Friday Funny: Wigs, Weaves and Nap Balls…

I'm from Panama and most of my girl friends are white latinas and they all wear hair extensions so the guys here are used to it. A lot of latino girls get breast and butt implants so guys are pretty much used to the idea that something on their girl might be fake.

But I remember one time I was in the cinema and I passed my hand through my hair and two of my tracks came out. My date watched me put the tracks it my purse and he never uttered single a word. I could tell he was a bit surprise but I'm glad he didn't make a big deal about it.

My embarassment is finding little tangle-balls on hanging by the skin on its teeth from my hair.

Sheeit, I SO don't care.  Anybody who gets my makeup on 'em should feel lucky.  I live a lot in Euro & Latin societies where people kiss as greeting.  It sometimes gets tiring when you step out with your makeup laidt to the Gods but random cheeks gon' press up on it to say hello and I'm not even touchy-touchy like that.  Funny part is, I initially try to use my "concern" for them getting makeup stain as why I shouldn't kiss hello.  You'd think I was home free?  Nope.  Both males & females insisted on the kissies!

A LOT of WW wear extensions too, but for some reason, attention/fascination centers on BW's hairstyles.  Anyhoo, my take is: my hairstyles change a lot (cornrows, perms, and everything in-between), enjoy it.  Never really had an issue.  Sticking to mature dudes probably helps.

 Hair does not make a women pretty.  

Well with my last true love I wore a ready made bun...  By the time our night was over, the bun was over on the side of my head rather centered in the back....

That's nothing....I once had a wig blow off my head during a really windy day. So what else could I do? Picked the loose cat up, stuck it back on and kept walking...LOL!

My latest conversation: Rich Black Women: Learn A Thing Or Two...

I broach the subject early on. I say something along the lines of "You know I'm Black right? Please excuse me while I tie up my hair for the evening." They get a little confused. One just asked if I would take it off if we had sex. I said I'd think about it. Calm down ladies, I'm just kidding about the last part.

It helps that my hair is natural though. I really don't have to do as much. I only tie up on occasion. I pretty much wake up, shake the locs out and go. Surprisingly, all the nonblack men I've dated really liked my natural hair, which is good, because I'm never going back to relaxers. 

When I met my husband I was wearing my hair natural in shoulder-length, blonde dreadlocks. My husband loved them. He prefers natural hair over relaxed hair, and doesn't find weaves or wigs particularly attractive (except maybe on Beyonce) Twelves years later and I still have locks, but they're my natural dark brown [with flecks of grey], and he still loves them. After our first kid was born, a really bad dye job forced me to shear my hair down to roots and rock a very short natural for a short time. My hubby - while surprised by the new look- was still okay with it all. 

The only conversations that I'd need to have with a rainbeau about my hair are that I sometimes get relaxers ( I tend to go long stretches without getting relaxers though) and I sometimes lay a silk/satin scarf on the pillow to protect my hair and retain moisture.  I don't really do that much to my hair, and have never worn wigs, weaves, or anything like that, so I don't have any experience with that.  If he asked me about the length of my hair, that's an easy one since I can grow hair that is shoulder length or passed that.

This is funny I was thinking about the hair talk the other day. I had  a very uncomfortable lunch with some female work friends of my boyfriend, they are all Italian but speak english but didn't include me in the conversation, my bf he did try. Any way later on at home my bf asked me is your hair a wig maybe he meant weave!! I said no you know its not, my bf is a army man his not into girl stuff,I guess it was the mean girls question. Im not sure how to do the talk in a fun way let him help wash my hair grease it etc ? or a power point presentation way I could include the mean girls as they have questions too lol. im just going to do a fun way I think not to serious.

About 6 years ago  I was rocking a " real human hair" wig and started dating a sweet rainbeau from eastern europe. He had never dated a black girl before. Well, one day he came to my place, I had a shower but didnt want him to know the hair he kept complimenting me about, all the time, wasnt actually mine's. I got a shower cap on, wrapped my towel around it and thought, I will quickly doll up myself before he found out. Well he stood right in front of me and the shower cap and towel fell off. He actually gasped in horror when he saw......"the dead thing" on the floor. I felt embarrassed but relieved he knew. We laughed about the incident afterwards. He also got used to the different hair styles I rocked and had to teach him about a few things with black hair.

Alright...I'm waiting for a story where someone got thrown in the pool...

My husband was really curious about my hair so I just let it all hang out.  By the time we were sharing a room, nothing could surprise him.  He just recently told me that he couldn't stand it when I got a fresh relaxer because my hair had a weird smell (and we know what that smell is) but he never said anything about it then.  Because some of us don't have any body in our hair, he used to like to brush mine and then form it into a ducktail.  We called it the "fastback" look.  Sometimes, he cracks me up because he's so well-versed in BW's hair, he can call it on any BW's hairdo.  He'll be in the elevator with a BW and be thinking "Weave." or "Wig.".  He has braided my hair, put it up in a bun and even snipped the ends (with my direction).  Frankly, he makes a great shampoo boy!

When I wear makeup, I am very, very careful to ensure I don't get it on anyone, anything or myself.  I do the European double kiss to avoid hugs.  I always know placement when it comes to affectionate displays and have become a master at it.  My husband says I look like a contortionist sometimes but he gets it.

You name it I've done it and hubby no longer blinks an eye, other than to say which one he likes best!lol! But now that I'm natural, except for coloring my hair! Can't say I've had any outstanding episode w/hubby. However, with my second born, I had in braids with him, from birth to six months and when I took them out and came home after styling at the salon, he looked at me and blinked w/eyes wide opened! He was so used to me w/braids!lol!

In high school, I wore braid extensions.  The woman who installed them not only brought the wrong color, but she also brought the wrong texture.   A silky blonde and black mess.  She also did not put them in tight enough. The day after break, I came back to school with my new braids "swanging".  While I was sitting in homeroom, I heard a low thump.  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my black and blonde braid on the desk of my blonde crush.  Mortified, doesn't even cover it!  He just discreetly balled the extension in his fist and threw it away with some notebook paper.  

Just had to stop in to say these stories are hilarious!

20 some years ago my girlfriend (who eventually became my first wife) and her friend decided to have fun with the newbie and announced that she was going to cut her long hair (which she kept in a pony tail.) I all but begged her not to and when they reappeared a few minutes later, she presented to me a long, braided pony tail.

Laughs were had, lessons were learned and a life long adventure with black women's hair was born.

He has seen my 4 sets of shampoos/conditioners and various styling products in the bathroom and just raised an eyebrow at me.  I had to point out which shampoo was "safe" for him to use because extra moisturizing is NOT what he needs with stick straight hair.

He has also not commented on my different lotions, moisturizers and serums for face and body but I've noticed someone likes to use my face cream at night.

LOL I haven't pulled out the satin sleep bonnet.  He'd probably take one look if I came to bed with it, snatch it off and toss it over the side.  

My clip on ponytail came out after some extracurricular activities one night. My rainbeau looked at it and then at me and said "put back in and let's get in the shower." It was sweet, but I was still mortified. LOL

I had a fashion show coming up that required extensions .... Bf had just come from Afghanistan.... And some much needed attention was delinquent .... Despite two tracks being pulled out... It did not stop us...js

My husband is well versed when it comes to black hair because all his prior girlfriends were black. I thank god for that because he was able to help me take down a too-tight sewn in weave I had once with no qualms. That damn thing left me with a couple of bald spots afterwards.

It is almost like a rite of passage. You have to give up the secrets sooner or later and most are by now used to hearing about bw and our hair issues.  Some even learn how help their wives/gfs with their hair.  It's all good!

Had to laugh reading this. Keith has seen my hair all kinds of ways.  He had worked around black women a lot so he knew the score when it came to hair issues.  Hands off. 

Other than calling my wigs and hair pieces the "dead thing" there are really no funny stories that I can think of right now.

Make-up is another story.  Black women have to be careful with any man.  I tend to like the darker shades of lipstick but changed that a bit after seeing what that looked like all over his face after a really good kiss.  Not pretty.  Now I use lip gloss for the most part.  If I do use a darker shade and we are about to get busy I remove it. Necking with BoZo is not my thing. 

Then there is the foundation. I am dark and that really kills a guys shirt, pillow cases you name it.  . When the guy is in heat he does not notice much but no need in being mortified the neaxt morning so I am careful with that also.

Funny thing is...before going natural I was more concerned about all that...but since my hubby has now been "schooled"...he has unraveled braids, helped with sew-ins and seen me play mad scientist in the kitchen concocting natural hair products with my own hair all over my head in different directions,witnessed flat twists and rollers... helped select hair at the beauty supply store and knows the difference between brazilian and yaki...I no longer care..LOL.